dudley_do_ride: Is you da bionic woman... bayahhhbah? - 12/30/14

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Is you da bionic woman... bayahhhbah?

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Female Performer Chat: Is you da bionic woman... bayahhhbah?

Created by: dudley_do_ride

12/30/14 @ 9:41pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Look at you baybayah... Swinging dat thang...

I bet you gots the interchangeable parts...
I know you make mah eyeballs smarts.

Bionic woooman. Ya ya ya.. Bionic wooooman that's what I say.

Gonna be your powers... Gonna strip your gears...
But baybahbe ahm more than tears.

NnnnNnnnnNnnnnn oooh my
NnnnnNnnnnNnnnnn oooooooo side to side

Bionic woooman gots to have you.

Bionic woman... me and you.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

12/30/14 @ 11:34pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Voice of Fu: And now cyborg woman... I leave you to your fate with the snakes!

jaime: OMG! NO!!!

Fu: Yes... your very worst fear. Hear them.! Hear them!

Snakes: HISS!!! HISS!!!!

Fu: Abandon your vain plans... Or they will be your doom!

Snakes: (louder) HISS! HISSS! HISSSSSS!

Jaime: *giggle* Oh Fu. Snakes don't have a volume control. *jumps into pit*

Fu: Curses!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

12/31/14 @ 1:29am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Alex: So you won't tell me how you were able to get through those doors. Or run at 60mph.

Jaime: That's right.

Alex: No problem. I will figure it out for myself. *reacts to touch of rail* hmmmmm your arm is giving off an electric field. Just your left arm.

Jaime: Yes just my left arm.

Alex: Don't jump there it's nearly 24 fe.. oh so your legs too. Both of them

Jaime: Right you are.

Alex: You are going to be harder to stop than I anticipated. But that's all... right?

Jaime: Oh there's my right ear too.

Alex: Your right ear? Just your right ear? Kind of like a monocle... know what i mean? heh heh heh.

Jaime: First time I've heard you laugh Alex. Didn't know you could.

Alex: Is that really all? I mean... Fingers? Eyes? And what about fun?

Jaime: No. *sigh* Just one arm, one ear, and two legs.

Alex: Kind of an odd job if you ask me.

Jaime: Nobody is asking you.

Alex: Not even your nose? C'mon and what about... well you know.

Jaime: Can we change the subject? I am going to make it to level 8. I am going to win.

Alex: No you won't. Even a cyborg has to breathe and I've got a way to steal all the air out of level 4. Unless you use your abnormal speed to dart through the hallway while holding your breath and just manage to dive into a freight elevator going down to the next level. hmmm shit! That's what you are going to do isn't it? But I'll bet one of your legs gets caught in the elevator door and gets messed up real bad.

Jaime: Look just do me a favor and don't sing happy birthday when I pull your memory cards okay?

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/24/15 @ 12:26pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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She was a woman... with tits and everything. Until that fateful knitting accident that took her from Titsy Larue to: Breastmechadonna.

Rising like the hulk of some bistacked luxury liner from the depths of the murky seas of destiny... Breastmechadonna rose from her operating table and let out an Amazon scream: HIYAGROOOBEEEEEE PSYCHE PSYCHE PSYCH!!!

Built from Titanium alloyed with Byzantium and galvanized rubber where it counts, Breastmechadonna was ready to lay down the Tread of Pain to all her former oppressors. There was Bill the milkman, who adulterated with every woman on the street but her... fucking weenie said he had a fear of heights. Now she'd show him heights. Lifting him clean off the floor as her Breasts of Death squeezed the life out of him. It was too easy. Scratch one milkman.

To get her next she posed as a cam model. Carefully seducing her victim with awe inspiring mechanized privates. Then luring him to Elbonia for the k1ll. The police found a gigantic nipple divit in his face that proved to be his mortal undoing.

Oh Breastmechadona is there anyone who can defeat you?

nnnnna nnnnna nnnna nnnnnaaaaaanaaaaaaaaaaaaa OH MY GOD SHE IS COMING THIS WAY!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/24/15 @ 12:47pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Max Allman sat drinking in a dive bar on 82nd street. He was dangerously depressed. His mind wracked with images of his disastrous last sexual encounter. He sobbed a little and downed another pitcher of vodka. Wiping his mustache covered mouth, he thought of the scene that awaited him back at his casa d'babe d'frock.

Oh he had tried to go easy. To restrain his too too deadly, all consuming drive. But she was too hot and he was too horny. The friction from his fast, desperate thrusting made her catch fire and turn to ash in his arms. There was nothing now to remind him of her but that wet outline of her unevaporated love sweat now ash flaked in that Bed of Death.

Oh where could he find a lover that could endure the force of his love? Why did the gods give him the power but no outlet for its release? What the fuck had happened to Bill the Milkman?

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/26/15 @ 4:04am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Elvis woke up from his coma. It had been whooooa what baby... 20 years? Hurt his head to think. Long time. Time to shake, rattle and roll.

His trembling hand lit a cig as he stumbled for the door. Hallway, some hospital, vision a little blurry.

He made it only to the front desk. Nurse there. Tall. Really tall. And there was something about her bazoombahs that made a cold chill run down his hip jiggling spine. They were... kind of... I mean they were cock rock hardening hot... as large as the Tetons... but damn baby... they were doing things they shouldn't. They were... comin' to get him.

"Whooooooaaaa" was all the King got out before he was gone forever.

Gotta be one fucked up bitch that wants the King dead.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/26/15 @ 8:33am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Historians know that we are inseparable from the age that we live in. It was impossible for the romantics not to be romantic for example. So though we may laugh, play, and strive to be so very creative... we ultimately move in the channels of our time. If only we could see over the tops of these walls of constraint we could get on to better things. For despite the appearance when locked in the low lying mundane of our daily lives, there is an advance to be seen from the remote hilltops. Mankind slowly rises higher and higher from the shackles of Nature to become more and more powerful... more and more unlike any other species here on this world.

Breastmechadonna, though an aberration, was of our age. She could exist in no other time. She is as much a part of our environment as the T Rex was of the Jurassic. Though she may strive to destroy life... at least of her enemies... her mere existence was evidence of their current maturity. Their technology could produce none stronger than her. Their minds had not yet produced the more advanced designs of the next age. The philosophers had not yet reckoned her cautionary tale into their philosophies.

Breastmechadonna... go... go and do what you must. For this is your age as much as ours. Wallow in your perfection. Enjoy your strength. Live as long as you can and as well as you can before your primate parents make you obsolete.

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Created by: Violet Agony

1/26/15 @ 6:43pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: joey-jingles

1/26/15 @ 9:54pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 3

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dudley_do_ride i need to party with u man. u put ideas in my head , i like your style son :bulb

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/27/15 @ 12:50am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Definitely ;)

Yeah... Wouldn't kick her out of bed for leaking oil.

Enjoyed the journey of exploring your hot and creative pics... Is always nice to know there is a General around when you need one.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/27/15 @ 12:52am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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dudley_do_ride i need to party with u man. u put ideas in my head , i like your style son :bulb

Thanks man. Lightings kinda iffy but the company's good.

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Created by: joey-jingles

1/27/15 @ 1:07am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 3

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Thanks man. Lightings kinda iffy but the company's good.

hey man , really dug you fu man chu stuff laughed for hours

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Created by: madflavor

1/27/15 @ 10:19am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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dudely I need more robot chicks storys man

))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

1/29/15 @ 2:42am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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*creeeaaaak weeeeeek creeeeeeeeeeaaak weeeeeeek *
* wind howling *
* creeeeeeeak weeeeek creeeeeeaaaaaak weeeeeeeeeeeek *
* coyotes in distance yowling *
*creeeeeeeeeaaaak weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeek *

Something shiny crawls across the red sands of the Painted Desert. A trail of black making the sand appear purple where it soaks in. But none of that life giving oil higher up the frame of the derelict.

A red eye winks... dimming... brightening... trying to rid itself of windblown sand. A sand wake like that of a diamondback weaves its way out from behind mile after mile until disappears into the haze becoming confused with the roiling air near sky land boundary.

A shadow flits over the derelict as it drags itself forward. A bird of prey, low in the air. The derelict stops... it is a rational thing... why prolong the inevitable?

It does not need to sense the vibration set off by the boot steps approaching it. Its metal cranium has already stored the solution to the riddle of the shadow. At one time it could have stopped a heavily armored tank brigade but now it just sank back into the sand and calmly awaited the death blow.

Its eyes shut for the simple reason that it did not need to see the sun blotted out by a figure in a broad brimmed hat. It did not need to see the blaze of its own death. In its way it felt a twinge of regret that it would die at the hands of a mere primate, a two-legged monkey boy, but it did not share its feeling. All of its cards had been played. The odds were astronomical that this death drag through the desert would save it from destruction.

It felt the shadow pass over it again, weakening the heat gradient across its upper surface, and then... oblivion.

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Created by: Violet Agony

1/31/15 @ 4:39pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Yeah... Wouldn't kick her out of bed for leaking oil.

Enjoyed the journey of exploring your hot and creative pics... Is always nice to know there is a General around when you need one.

Thank you. It's been a while since the General came out to play. Of course, this weekend its all about garter belts and football jerseys. ;)

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/1/15 @ 1:48am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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He was well dressed, he smelled good, he was motivated. Max Allman never felt mightier, luckier, readier. The souls of his long string of exes, now ash from his embrace, looked down and smiled. They blessed him for looking as fine as the nights they were taken from this vale of tears forever. Taken by the man now entering the Jingle Jangle. Not really his kind of place but it was bustlin', crawling with possibilities, and he needed a big big field.

The owner was kind of going for a progressive look. Songs that were really new, expensive d�cor, chairs made to look at and not really to get to comfy in. He got a manly drink but had to call it something silly. It was vodka with some other stuff thrown in to change the color a little. He threw it back without even noticing it he was so intent on the women. Blatantly checking them out in the most obvious way while taking an obvious search route through the place. He literally brushed away some attempts to hold some conversation as he made his hunt around the place. Nobody could ever accuse Max of lack of focus.

And suddenly, the hunt was over. Towering tall over her neighbors... sticking out like a neon sign amongst some driftwood... was the woman he knew was made for him. Max wasted no time.

Neither did Breastmechadonna.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/1/15 @ 4:40pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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But they could not start the love saga just yet. For, yelling at them across the parking lot to "Wait.. Wait for God's sake!", was Jamie, voice shrill from effort. She came across the lot at a speed that made their brains whirr in consternation. Nnnnn nnnn nnnn nnnnn nnnnnnnn.

Breastmechadonna grinned a knowing grin. She stood quiet and watched Jamie reason with Max. Her eyes moved quickly back and forth and a perceptive observer would have heard a slight hum.

Jamie: Oh Max don't go with her. It is a big mistake. I can't tell you why but it will destroy you.

Max: I'm sorry Jamie. Sorry that you couldn't go with me that night. That you were called away so suddenly and never called me back. Sorry that you never gave us a chance.

Jamie: I couldn't Max. It would have destroyed you. For the same reason she will. Oh fuck national security! She's a cyborg Max. She'll either k1ll you before fucking you or k1ll you by fucking you. Any way you stack it she k1lls you.

Max: I think you are just jealous. A cyborg? As much a cyborg as you are.

Jamie: I am a cyborg Max!

Breastmechadonna: Pfffffft

Jamie: I don't have as many mechanized aspects as this one but enough to make me lethal in bed.

Max: Then we all have something in common.

Jamie: You're a cyborg?

Max: No I have always been lethal in bed. Let's all have a three-some and see how it works out.

Breastmechadonna: I'm game if monocle here is game.

Jamie: OK Max. I'll do it just to prove the point. We'll see who is the monocle after tonight cyborgia.

Breastmechadonna: Whaaatever!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/3/15 @ 1:41am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Women often laugh, and it is endearing that they do, at the joyful greed of man in wanting threesomes. They point out that it is a common problem for one man to fail to satisfy one woman... let alone two simultaneously. Forgetting the male's many valid, clever counters, I will merely point out that the situation confronting Max was especially arduous. The goddesses enjoyed a chuckle at his expense.

But Max, good Max, simple Max, happy Max was at the apex of his life. His ultimate moment. He was sure that this was what he was made to do. His defining moment.

He laughed in joy when they ripped off their clothes. He positively beamed as they oiled each other up. Enjoying the playful squeak of oiled up alloy on metal. Oh they were fine. And they were his. A moment to be treasured for all time.

In the red corner, weighing 130 hard hitting pounds, was Breastmechadonna doing her breast stretches. Max drooled as he watched her bend an iron bedpost with her nipple crunches.

In the blue corner, weighing 103 slender, mongoose fast pounds, was the bionic woman herself. She was practicing her clinches. mmmmm the power in those metal fortified gams.

Max was in the shape of his life. Coming off a win in Birmingham that left them all stunned. It was sure to be the Fuck of the Century.

The three quieted down and stood stiffly as the Star Spangled Banner played. A tear rolled down Max's face. So remember our heros. As they were 'for bullet grazed...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/7/15 @ 12:28pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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Oh I wish I could dive in and give you the story of those hot oiled up bodies coming together in that era defining moment. I mean I will... eventually... for I know it is what we all want. Images of asses shaking, hair tossing, sweat dripping. The sounds, the fury, the spectacle.

But I am compelled, as a philosopher, compelled to deal with the preliminaries. It is not enough that we present you, the reader, with the key events of our time... no... it must also be that we flesh out and fill in the fiber, the brickwork, of the construct these events build in our historical and cultural city in the sky, as it were, our ever winding upward road crossing the rivers of hardship that lead to our ultimate destination as a species.

Oh it may content the earthworm, deep in his earthy, warm burrow to deal only with his immediate appetites and surroundings, but man is a creature of a different cut from the primordial fabric, he is a thinker, a reasoner, a moral entity that must not just act but act with a deeper, overreaching purpose.

Ever since he rose out of the Animal Kingdom... ever since a new balm has come from Gilead... ever since his jet tracks began to lace the blue carbon loving skies of his home world... ever since he hurled himself into space... it has been that way with man. So prepare, prepare for the puzzle pieces to come together in your seething minds as you take this keystone into your gatekeeper and rise... rise... rise.. into the next era of your species.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

2/8/15 @ 4:15am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,272

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It is so late at night. The TV is on. It blares loudly that familiar theme song Naaaa naa naaaaaa na na na naaaaa na naaaaaaaaa... bum bum bum be bum bum bum bum be bum. Donna nee Titsy works late at night. *knit knit knit* Oh but she is crying. Her mind on the story the TV is blaring. *knit knit sniff sob knit knit * She is making a breast warmer and is mid-way through. But the work is becoming difficult as the tears pour down her face. She cannot put down the needles, nor the yarn, because she is in mid-stream of her project and is unwilling to risk a drop.

But it is odd. To an impartial observer witnessing that scene. For she is crying for the cyborg, the mairderous cyborg, who is now caught and being crushed by his former victim. No human eye has any tears in that scene. But on her couch, alone in her place, Donna has already deserted her species and made her choice. An odd choice because how could she ever realize it?

*knit knit sob wheez pffffffft * And then it happens. Fate grabs hold of the needles and causes them to glance off each other. Bl00d. Pain. She rises not wanting to lose her progress and slips. Needles hit socket, socket shorts, sparks. Lot's of sparks. Losing balance and falling forward into the TV. Lots of bl00d now. Charge escaping from large capacitors and jolting her. Smoke. Pain. Bl00d draining away.

The Elbonian police arrived so late. Responding to the surge in power that knocked out the local grid. They carried her off to his laboratory. The hospital seemed out of the question given the tubing and wires still spitting sparks from her torso. She had absolutely plowed into that TV. Besides the doctor had been seeking a subject. A young strong healthy subject and there had been no dissidents for weeks.

Pain. Operation after operation. Success. Slow recuperation and assignment to a brigade on the eastern border. Dissolution and defection. Immigration and at long last freedom and some semblance of stability in a new land.

Now she no longer knitted but did still occasionally watch that movie on TV and cry just as she did so long long ago.

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