Forum Topics
Female Performer Chat: The Genes! That's Where!
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/3/14 @ 6:24am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
What a disaster of a weekend as far as T.V. was concerned... What with this slaughter and that tear jerker, this re-run and that ill-conceived fable. Most of all, at the highest possible level of irritant grain size, was the never ending parade of false premised love stories that had to be waded through in the course of finding any character building grit within the sugary syrup. There was none. In fact all there was was an endless succesion of demonstrations that people do not understand the nature of love.
I am not talking about the pure and noble affection that seems to originate in the mind more than in the heart, that inspires good deeds and sacrifice for those whose virtues or goodness makes it plain for all to see that they are deserving. No this is too rational, useful, normal, and simple for us to spend our vast entertainment dollars upon, to write our poetry about, to fight wars over, or for our genes, yes our genes, to muck about with.
No I am talking of course about desire, lust, that red hot feeling that makes you want to rub yourself all over another creature and to have that creature rub herself all over you - spouting and commingling fluids, causing and experiencing hectic breathing, fever, blood pounding, passion... You know,. the thing that this site is dedicated to more than anything else. There is a tendency to try to mix these two very different things together to have the ultimate thing with one person but for the purposes of this discussion let us be disciplined and keep our discussion rigorously on this poorly understand one of the pair. Often maligned because it is part of our animal nature instead of setting us apart from our apparently not always so distant cousins, often considered a downright crime if one goes over human history with an a eye for the hot stuff. A source of heat in the argument about the proper role of each of the sexes. And as many would have it: that thing which makes it all worth living!
Here at last is a thread dedicated to the proper, unbiased treatment of the urge to merge, and to consider in a cool, rational way its ultimate constraints to be found in our genes. Our genes which are our blueprint and the very source of our preferences, tolerances, yea even our perversions. The channels in which our raging waters flow. The compass that points us to whatever destiny may be in store for our unplanned Friday nights, weekends, and spring breaks...
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/3/14 @ 10:49am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Have you ever wondered why... why that supermodel who you have just met, and are expected to be attracted to by all your mates, causes no reaction in you at all? But that loud mouthed, kind of pear shaped brunette at the laundrymat drives you crazy with desire? Or why one twin of a pair makes you hot and the other leaves you cold? While it is of course a source of fun and part of that mystery we are all trying to unravel for ourselves about ourselves, we have profited too much from the Age of Reason not to try to piece together the explanation.
We of course have it now. Theanks to the work understanding the gene. But relatively few of us have acknowledged this or really thought deeply about the implications.
Many have oberved upon the spokiness of desire. Like pikes sticking up on a plot of physical characteristics. Oh you may have a gently upsloping plain as possession of a more of positive trait but there are these strong strong delta functions, big bangs of passion, that occur at some particular resonances on the abscissa. A nose shape on a particular type of face snaps to just the right nose causing a spike in desire. The subject under test may love all different kinds of nose types, but only a few spikes within each type will drive him wild...
This is a dead giveaway for the operation of genes which are by nature quantized in their particular way. Each person having a different spike distribution and spike spacing in the physical morphospace. In fact the shape of these distributions is one way in which some scientists are now classifying individuals by their desires. It is tedious work for there are so many features that are keyed upon by the amorous individual. And some consider this work too empirical to ever provide some insight. However we must begin our science somewhere...
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/4/14 @ 12:01am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
It feels as if every cell in your body is drawn to her and so it is, for every cell contains DNA, and each independent strand wants her, needs her, to oontinue the line. Your reward is the fucking of your short lifetime for she too has those waving bits of thread that demand you, your throbbing cock, deep in her nether intersticies, making her thorax throb, making the next clutch screetch in their leathery egg sacks as with slavering mandibles clicking, and undulating abdomens winding round each other in the sweaty haze over and over the semen flows and Basil swims free and fast....
Yeah baby as good as it is for for the primates, with those furry chests and bare asses, it is better still for our 6 legged brothers whose legs make music when the rough hairs are rubbed and whose long orange clutch casings play out over long lengths of topsoil from the overeager desire bursting the egg billows before their time. Twisting exoskeletons with the scritching itch to entwine as antennii bounce hectic love groans at cm wavelengths all around the hot house. Desire burning feverishly in compound eyes... Passion seen in heaving chest plates... Good, so good, even as the sound of feather and wing announces a danger level that is just not right no matter how important it is to feed the need of the oh short present time....
Ever since the Love Vulture shrieked in the densest part of the Amazonian reach... and the drums beat the march of the Bloody One louder than even Aztec hearts could stand... the world has creaked under the weight of copulating couples driven wild by the spokes of their phalangii. Spears waving together in unison as the morphospace is traversed never breaking cohesian even as the jets of replentishment make the rivers of the world run strong and deep once again...
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Yeah baby as good as it is for for the primates, with those furry chests and bare asses, it is better still for our 6 legged brothers whose legs make music when the rough hairs are rubbed and whose long orange clutch casings play out over long lengths of topsoil from the overeager desire bursting the egg billows before their time. Twisting exoskeletons with the scritching itch to entwine as antennii bounce hectic love groans at cm wavelengths all around the hot house. Desire burning feverishly in compound eyes... Passion seen in heaving chest plates... Good, so good, even as the sound of feather and wing announces a danger level that is just not right no matter how important it is to feed the need of the oh short present time....
Ever since the Love Vulture shrieked in the densest part of the Amazonian reach... and the drums beat the march of the Bloody One louder than even Aztec hearts could stand... the world has creaked under the weight of copulating couples driven wild by the spokes of their phalangii. Spears waving together in unison as the morphospace is traversed never breaking cohesian even as the jets of replentishment make the rivers of the world run strong and deep once again...
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/4/14 @ 12:23am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Sleek! See how sleek she is! Thighes made for dropping babies. Hips strong and curved more artfully than the greatest cathedral, providing the buttress of the Temple of Duane.
She will open for she is matched in her cells by Duane's legions, Duane's pairing are the Plan of Life, Humanoid Section. The drums beat Fate's decree. Relentless like the Caribou pursued by Inuit canoe. Poke, poke, poke, poke... the swimming struggle slows as the inevitable nature of it sinks in to both striving souls. Backs, asses, nostrils, thighes... all supports of the construct flex and strain, gripping tighter, tighter tighter, tighter a clutch not known by eagle talon on precious caught cargo for hungry chicks.
Like the strands themselves, in helii wound, pressed and bound, to undo is to destroy. The heaving edifice must not be dismantled for it contains the will, the very will of Duane, the One, the True, the never tiring...
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/4/14 @ 11:15am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Plasticwoman hovered over Plasticman. It had already been a time to remember... a fuckfest. But it was designed merely to warm them up for The Feat. This was the final climax of a long journey. For she, and he, had finally mastered their morphospaces...
At first they had to painstakingly vary themselves across each feature and with cock in vagina gauge just where each spoke was... They had to remember together each spoke, and check to see if spoke 321 of man was just as strong when matched with spoke 831 of woman. They knew the answers for each pairing, they were ready.
Not only could they hit each spoke, but they could transform from one to another nearly instantaneously. His fav northern European form could suddenly flicker into his fav pacific islander form... all in the same lovemaking. Yes it was good to be Plasticman... just as good to be Plasticwoman...
In their first orgasms this day they kept it simple and had one form for one of them and varied forms for the other. The result was spectacular.They nearly killed each other with pleasure and had to note PSI and other metrics to keep it safe.
Now was the first attempt of the grand plan... varied forms, ideal weighting, proper order... They were alone... No cameras... But it seemed as if all History were stopped and waiting for their epic journey...
She was on top, he on bottom. They both warm, lightly sweating. It was dangerous. If he made a mistake and went to one of the huge cock forms at the wrong time... "I trust you" he said... "I trust you" she said. They rolled their eyes up in concentration and began...
It was a confusing thing for an outside observer to watch and very erotic. The groans ever changing in pitch and tembre were intense. The fluids changing composition and frothiness flowed freely. The hair flew and didn't fly as the length modulated. The rate of change fierce so that the entire morphospace could be covered for each. This was the distressing part to the outside observer for one spoke would be near his and then vanish to some that was not. So his desires felt only frustrated while the lovers went unchecked. Eyes of changing color briefly opened and with worried looks saw out of bounds readings on instruments and a f0rced slowing but nevertheless cum and epic cum that few have ever realized in strength, duration, intensity.
We will break away from this historic feat.... It will get its appropriate place in our lore in time... But for now we'll leave just the premise floating in the air.... that man and woman were meant to be plasticmen and plasticwomen and that the search for the ultimate sexual partner must end there when mankind finally has the power to make it so...
Those of you who are not plasticmen or plasticwomen do the best you can. You know now the reason for your misery. For if only you could change with the morphospace and cover it in a trice, you could make that other perpetually happy. But man was made to roam, woman to stray, and that's all the truth for you this day.
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At first they had to painstakingly vary themselves across each feature and with cock in vagina gauge just where each spoke was... They had to remember together each spoke, and check to see if spoke 321 of man was just as strong when matched with spoke 831 of woman. They knew the answers for each pairing, they were ready.
Not only could they hit each spoke, but they could transform from one to another nearly instantaneously. His fav northern European form could suddenly flicker into his fav pacific islander form... all in the same lovemaking. Yes it was good to be Plasticman... just as good to be Plasticwoman...
In their first orgasms this day they kept it simple and had one form for one of them and varied forms for the other. The result was spectacular.They nearly killed each other with pleasure and had to note PSI and other metrics to keep it safe.
Now was the first attempt of the grand plan... varied forms, ideal weighting, proper order... They were alone... No cameras... But it seemed as if all History were stopped and waiting for their epic journey...
She was on top, he on bottom. They both warm, lightly sweating. It was dangerous. If he made a mistake and went to one of the huge cock forms at the wrong time... "I trust you" he said... "I trust you" she said. They rolled their eyes up in concentration and began...
It was a confusing thing for an outside observer to watch and very erotic. The groans ever changing in pitch and tembre were intense. The fluids changing composition and frothiness flowed freely. The hair flew and didn't fly as the length modulated. The rate of change fierce so that the entire morphospace could be covered for each. This was the distressing part to the outside observer for one spoke would be near his and then vanish to some that was not. So his desires felt only frustrated while the lovers went unchecked. Eyes of changing color briefly opened and with worried looks saw out of bounds readings on instruments and a f0rced slowing but nevertheless cum and epic cum that few have ever realized in strength, duration, intensity.
We will break away from this historic feat.... It will get its appropriate place in our lore in time... But for now we'll leave just the premise floating in the air.... that man and woman were meant to be plasticmen and plasticwomen and that the search for the ultimate sexual partner must end there when mankind finally has the power to make it so...
Those of you who are not plasticmen or plasticwomen do the best you can. You know now the reason for your misery. For if only you could change with the morphospace and cover it in a trice, you could make that other perpetually happy. But man was made to roam, woman to stray, and that's all the truth for you this day.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/5/14 @ 10:17am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Writing on Plasticman's bedroom wall:
< 221 | 112 > ->
< 22 | 318 > ->
< 88 | 99 > ->
< 87.95 - 87.97 | 5 > ->
< 87.999999999 - 88.00000001 | 5 > ->
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/5/14 @ 10:55am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Old man Cassanova: "Why God", I asked, "did you give your gift to such a base, annoying creature while to me you gave desire... but only imperfect means to only partially fulfill it? It was the focus of my life, my love of life, and you mocked me! Returning your spite for my love."
Priest: Ummmm errrrr. Do you really think that...
Cassanova: Well I have given up trying to please you, begging to be plasticman and to have a plasticwoman of my own. Instead I will destroy your creations and mock you. That's right! Mock you from the fires of Hell itself for all eternity!
Priest: Whooooa now wait don't you think that....
Cassanova: And so I did many years ago. I destroyed him. Utterly. Essentially moirdered him. I knew just how to do it. A way that would be fitting for such a creature.
Priest: Come again?
Cassanova: I took the couple out. Saying it was a celebration of their accomplishments, their new life together. I dragged them to see a monster movie marathon and got them really, really, drunk with my finest liquors. I then locked them up alone in the bedroom of their house.
Priest: Sounds... fine...
Cassanova: It wasn't fine. These were two beasts that were red hot for each other and now were soused with wine. All inhibitions and cares gone. And... this is the key bit... they had just seen a monster movie marathon...
Priest: You mean...
Cassanova: Ah a light comes on in Gideon...
Priest: Oh my god... you fiend... Surely you must have heard them, known what would happen!
Cassanova: Oh I heard all right. I listened with such delight. And the sounds I heard! I thought they might burst the bedroom walls. But they fortunately are made of stone.
Priest: And the next morning?
Cassanova: He woke up. No memory of the night. Saw the trashed room. Saw... her... dead... in one of her monster forms... for man and monster will clash... The shock drove him insane. He killed himself right then and there, suffocating himself with a sheet of plastic.
Priest: The horror...
Cassanova: There is no joy in this vale of tears... even for a plastic man.
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Priest: Ummmm errrrr. Do you really think that...
Cassanova: Well I have given up trying to please you, begging to be plasticman and to have a plasticwoman of my own. Instead I will destroy your creations and mock you. That's right! Mock you from the fires of Hell itself for all eternity!
Priest: Whooooa now wait don't you think that....
Cassanova: And so I did many years ago. I destroyed him. Utterly. Essentially moirdered him. I knew just how to do it. A way that would be fitting for such a creature.
Priest: Come again?
Cassanova: I took the couple out. Saying it was a celebration of their accomplishments, their new life together. I dragged them to see a monster movie marathon and got them really, really, drunk with my finest liquors. I then locked them up alone in the bedroom of their house.
Priest: Sounds... fine...
Cassanova: It wasn't fine. These were two beasts that were red hot for each other and now were soused with wine. All inhibitions and cares gone. And... this is the key bit... they had just seen a monster movie marathon...
Priest: You mean...
Cassanova: Ah a light comes on in Gideon...
Priest: Oh my god... you fiend... Surely you must have heard them, known what would happen!
Cassanova: Oh I heard all right. I listened with such delight. And the sounds I heard! I thought they might burst the bedroom walls. But they fortunately are made of stone.
Priest: And the next morning?
Cassanova: He woke up. No memory of the night. Saw the trashed room. Saw... her... dead... in one of her monster forms... for man and monster will clash... The shock drove him insane. He killed himself right then and there, suffocating himself with a sheet of plastic.
Priest: The horror...
Cassanova: There is no joy in this vale of tears... even for a plastic man.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/8/14 @ 5:07pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Now the sharp student of Biology and the mind might have noticed something, all of the discussion so far has been concerned with individuals conforming to their own morphospaces. The genes are fixed once we are born, with very very few exceptions. This implies that our morphospaces are fixed, as they are determined from the genes. Of course, yes, this follows surely. We all kind of just took it as a given as we read the previous entries.
However, there is a trick, a reality: the mind must perceive the morphospace. The mind, as we all know from our various experiences, is a variable creature whose responses are shaped by environment and chemicals that may be introduced into the bloodstream. So by doing damaging things to our mind we can do things like double or triple our spokes. This is not recommended of course, and may cause transient effects, drifts, instability at more than one level.
But does it have to be so extreme? Could we not do milder things that would allow us to vary things a little? As mild as these things may be they are all more violent than the typical jolts and jostles of our basic natural state otherwise Nature would have already adapted us for them.
No, what the prudent reader should take away from this is that if you are suddenly attracted to a type you have never been attracted to before, there may be some serious problem with your mind that you should have checked immediately. If you are drinking heavily and all the women start to look really good, no matter which way you look, your consumption is fucking with your morphospace and you'd better stop. If you wake up in the morning and there is a strange woman not your type in bed with you, and you are feeling your normal reaction, take heart, whatever problem you had the night before was cleared up by a good night's rest. If the woman seems to be attracted still to you, tell her about your morphospace fluctuation and if she is responsibe and bright, she will realize she also is likely to have had a problem and it merely hasn't cleared up yet.
Now do you see how much better off you'd be if you had the clear vision and rationality of the well trained sexual philosopher?
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/8/14 @ 9:13pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Oh you poor confused gaggle of geese... have you not at some point in your wasteful lives not grasped the idea of positive constraint? I'll bet you either do not have the faintest idea of what I am talking about or have only seen pale, weak, examples in your experiences, if you have ever been sober enough to observe anything but your own navels.
A constraint is a limit to be sure. You cannot go through that wall made of some hard material, oh nonquantum one, but there are times when these are actually more like powerful channels that direct great energy or progress in useful directions, instead of letting it play out uneventfully in random directions. A system driven by completely random events, with no correlation, omni-directional perturbations will over long times move little if any. But put a constraint upon it, one that moves it in useful directions only, and now even random gusts of force will cause a strong movement over a long time in one direction.
That's right my ch1ldren... if a series of genes acts like a lock, and counterproductive locks are destroyed fairly quickly by Life, the remaining productive locks will put evolutionary constraints in place that are long lasting and ensure direction only in generally positive directoion with no backward lapses. They lock in progress. Make some major changes permenent. And now things can get very interesting, very fast.
If you are a furry little creature that gets by on its four legs with its quick feet and nimble mind, do you really care that your offspring will never include six-legged exoskeleton clad little wastebasket feeders? You'd be happy to know they'd be better at what you do so well and would in fact split off into some really cool stuff that would bring a weird mix of obseession and humor to the ruling of the planet as well as cousins who'd be able to eat through their extension cords. If you get this, you get a lot.
On the other hand, if you are in a low lying dry river bed I hope you have the sense to get out of it fast if you see lightning in the distance. Channels are good for their purposes but may conflict with yours.
It should not surprise you that there are major channels cut into you that have to do with the subject matter of this thread. That keep you from sailing all over creation in search of that special something you will take home to meet yo mamma.
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A constraint is a limit to be sure. You cannot go through that wall made of some hard material, oh nonquantum one, but there are times when these are actually more like powerful channels that direct great energy or progress in useful directions, instead of letting it play out uneventfully in random directions. A system driven by completely random events, with no correlation, omni-directional perturbations will over long times move little if any. But put a constraint upon it, one that moves it in useful directions only, and now even random gusts of force will cause a strong movement over a long time in one direction.
That's right my ch1ldren... if a series of genes acts like a lock, and counterproductive locks are destroyed fairly quickly by Life, the remaining productive locks will put evolutionary constraints in place that are long lasting and ensure direction only in generally positive directoion with no backward lapses. They lock in progress. Make some major changes permenent. And now things can get very interesting, very fast.
If you are a furry little creature that gets by on its four legs with its quick feet and nimble mind, do you really care that your offspring will never include six-legged exoskeleton clad little wastebasket feeders? You'd be happy to know they'd be better at what you do so well and would in fact split off into some really cool stuff that would bring a weird mix of obseession and humor to the ruling of the planet as well as cousins who'd be able to eat through their extension cords. If you get this, you get a lot.
On the other hand, if you are in a low lying dry river bed I hope you have the sense to get out of it fast if you see lightning in the distance. Channels are good for their purposes but may conflict with yours.
It should not surprise you that there are major channels cut into you that have to do with the subject matter of this thread. That keep you from sailing all over creation in search of that special something you will take home to meet yo mamma.
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Created by:
amanda_fucking_palmer
2/9/14 @ 12:34pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793
(whisper) non-icon ... my old friend and Rupert ... I'd occasion to have a conversation with a Clinical Psych PhD candidate regarding the evolution of practices in the past fifty or so years here in 'Merika ... as an aside we chattered on about the larger and larger acceptance of the contributory effects of 'genetics' and he suddenly asked me "cross your hands for a moment" i did so ... he looked and said "well ... only 10 percent of the population crosses their hands in the manner which you do ..."
*shrug* no statistical correlations were offered as to what behaviors my manner of thumb over thumb was indicative of ...
. bemused .
*blue ermin loop FastLinkd http://www.flirt4free.com/forums * Quote
*shrug* no statistical correlations were offered as to what behaviors my manner of thumb over thumb was indicative of ...
. bemused .
*blue ermin loop FastLinkd http://www.flirt4free.com/forums * Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/11/14 @ 1:56am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
It is February... mid February... and you know what that means... fer sure...
time to celebrate Valley Girls Day! We here at the Industries know of no more respectful way than to carry on business as usual while adopting that a pro pro way of expressing the awesomeness of the tube.
Like, many people think, I don't know why, really, you know... that Progress, you know on that like Charles and Diana scale, you know like before the Wedding, before it all got kinda grodie you know, that it has to do with the popular group, no... that's not right, not the popular, the really big group... yeah the majority... the popular group is busy getting laid and that's important, really really important I'm saying because, like because of all the babies that happen from that, the genes flow around like wee wee in Hef's swimming pool. You don't know they are there but there are so many of them they get really really spread out like a layer of, oh I don't know, like this bree, but thinner on this wafer, really really and so they don't do much damage. Nothing changes. Static man. Not like radio static more like Encino on a Tuesday night after the Galleria shuts down. So biology is about the vital man, the happening, so that sperm is not the sperm that makes the difference. It is, you are not gonna believe this, the outsiders, the low populations, the rural areas, the Winnemuckas that actually make new animals, that you know, like speciate. The majority usually eventually, really really long time periods here, dies out because these new things spread out and into their territory... They are like: Waaaarrreeeeyores come out and playeeeayyyyyyeee... ha ha awesome! But it is cool because that is how Nature works and good change happens until some asteroid hits the earth and it's like game over, time to go through a bottle neck sober right?
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/12/14 @ 10:25am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Omg! Love is such a bitch! I can't decide who to go with. It's like I've got equal gravity for like five totally different guys! None of the five are stoked to go with me. But five other guys, that are like barf, are like calling me every day. "Go with me please Heather" "I need you to go so bad Heather" Gag me with omg I don't even know what!
It's like that video... fuck I can't even remember the group... but they are in this steak and shake and everyone is making eyes at everyone else's guy. It's so gross, I just wanna go outside and barf. I mean I wanna believe in a happy ending, a prince getting this princess, but I look around and just don't see it happening. Not for me.
Maybe I should become one of those monks. Shave my hair. Give up on love.
Naaa who am I kidding. I gotta acessorize!
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/12/14 @ 10:48pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
OK I have paid the Bloody One his due... I have also celebrated the Day of the Vals and stopped wisely before there was a girl fight... To Reason and Truth I have been fair...
Now let us talk abstractly about true Love. This week it will also get its due. The noble side of us. The endearing part. The redeeming...
It may be found in strange places but its signature is unmistakable. It is quiet like the sunshine, though we may celebrate it very loudly if it suits us. It is pure good with no darker underlying current. When we act under it, we feel for a time not part of the world, free of it, though part of us is unusually vulnerable to it. We often don't want to take credit for it, to keep it pure, and so claim it has come from someone or somewhere else... No one owns it, invented it, or can license it.
Some claim to be continually under its influence. Some claim only a brush with it in the past. No one complains, not sincerely, when under its grip. It enriches, it builds, never depletes nor destroys. Because of its consistency in this regard some relegate it to a season, reserving the need to act outside of its constraints as part of surviving in this world or fulfilling some dark duty. Man's vanity perhaps. But undeniably part of the decisions that define us.
I mention it now because it deserves mentioning and the time seems somehow appropriate for it. It is part of being human and setting our relationship to it is part of our gift of life. Part of our birthright. I do not need to make speeches advocating it, or giving it ulimate priority in life. I do not need to bound it, categorize it, or worry overmuch about it. Of all things, it is perhaps the most simple, the most personal, and very good.
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Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/13/14 @ 10:35am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
And for those of you who are sad that I stopped before there was a girl fight, a little something from the one, the only, Julie Brown:
Girl fight tonight
Girl fight tonight
Look, there she is
I'm going to kick her blonde butt
Hey girl, I want to talk to you
I've seen the way that you check him out
When you think I'm not around
(Oh, sha-doo-bee)
Mentally undressing him
(Sha-doo-bee)
Trying to shut me down
Well, you know last night he told me
All those nasty things that you said
You asked him if he gets lonely
Now you're asking to be dead
Girl fight tonight
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
Revenge is gonna be so sweet
Girl fight tonight
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
Your lips are gonna kiss the street
You only want him 'cause I want him
Back off, girl, or else
Girl fight tonight
I hate the way that your sweater fits
(Tight)
I hate your baby talk
(Oh, sha-doo-bee)
I can read your dirty mind
(Sha-doo-bee)
I watched you watch him walk
When you told him he looked like Rob Lowe
Well, that was the last straw
So now I have to tell him
That you wear a padded bra
Girl fight tonight
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
Oooh, we're gonna have some fun
Girl fight tonight
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
Blood and mascara will run
We'll see how long your tan lines last
When you're in a body cast
Girl fight tonight
Get her
(Don't let her get away)
Yeah
All in love is fair
(She'll rip out your hair)
Now I'm declaring war
(You know she's killed before)
'Cause I'm a lover and a fighterbitch
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
Revenge is gonna taste so sweet
Girl fight tonight
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
Your lips are gonna kiss the street
You only want him 'cause I want him
Back off, girl, or else
Girl fight tonight
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
That's right you slut, I'm gonna get you
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
I'm gonna rip out your hairs one by one
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
I am
(Stop it, let go of me)
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
(You ripped my blouse
Stop it)
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
(You're choking me
Stop it)
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
Get out of here
Get out of here, that's right
(Stop it)
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
(Oh, my god)
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
(She deserved it)
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away)
(Girl fight tonight)
(Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away
Shoo-be-do-bop and a shoo-bop-a run away). Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/15/14 @ 2:27pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Joe Chromosome winked and set this next one up to play... He loved Billy Joel songs. He then watched the couples dance slow with a wry smile on his shadowed, sans wrinkle face:
Don't go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Though I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
Ah, what will it take till you believe in me?
The way that I believe in you?
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
But I couldn't love you any better
I love you just the way you are
(Solo)
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are
Oh... Yeah....
An ending fit for any dark lord...
Quote
Don't go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before
Don't imagine you're too familiar
And I don't see you anymore
I would not leave you in times of trouble
We never could have come this far
I took the good times, I'll take the bad times
I take you just the way you are
Don't go trying some new fashion
Don't change the color of your hair
You always have my unspoken passion
Though I might not seem to care
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are
I need to know that you will always be
The same old someone that I knew
Ah, what will it take till you believe in me?
The way that I believe in you?
I said I love you and that's forever
And this I promise from the heart
But I couldn't love you any better
I love you just the way you are
(Solo)
I don't want clever conversation
I never want to work that hard
I just want someone that I can talk to
I want you just the way you are
Oh... Yeah....
An ending fit for any dark lord...
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/15/14 @ 2:48pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Mankind... Mankind... he had wound them up like his mantle clock and for centuries thay had marched to his hidden drummer. Face after face, in feast or famine, in festival or plague, all had borne his mark. He was the first dark lord of the chromosome and expected to be the only dark lord of the chromosome.
It all went so smoothly but now, it was the beginning of an... irritating period. Mankind was starting to fiddle around with genetics. He still remembered the day mankind first became fully aware of his mark upon them. Didn't they see anything odd about the particular way their chromosomes looked?
He laughed hard and beer came out of his nose. Someday they would get it. He doubted very much they would laugh like this though. "I fucked you up reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaal good" he thought in his currently light, happy, way.
He hadn't had a challenge in years. Now he had one worthy of him. He just had to be patient until these snails got to just the right point...
Now he began to sing :
Oh I am Joe, Joe Chromosome...
I will spare you the lyrics for now. Joe is kinda repetitive. In time you will know them... by rote. bwaaa ha.. bwaaaa ha ha ha.. HAAA HAAAA HAAAAA HAAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/16/14 @ 11:15am
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Now Joe often makes a bad first impression... I mean, honestly, given the little bit of info you have on him, how many of you like him? Respect him?
But think about it. This thing, this being, must have a powerful mind. He's fucked with our chromosomes and yet we still function basically okay. We don't walk lopsided. We don't stutter. We managed to invent some pretty cool things.
Now you are right to distinguish between a malicious hack and a creative being. That is a great trick to detecting evil, for true evil despises createing anything of value, unless it ultimately leads to destruction. And that's Joe in a nutshall. As close to a creative force an evil being can be. Having the patience, the foresight, to create in order to destroy and taking great pride in it.
This is why even though he lacks flash or nay even an occasional strong emotion, he is popular at the big bad guy conventions, always a featured speaker, they respect him very much - and so should you.
He got the name Jumpin' Joe Chromosome from Flagg, a more typical villain. Joe's nature wouldn't allow him to object to something that clearly pleased his compadres and yet also showed their respect for his particular domain of evil. He was the guy that fucked with the genes.
You want to talk patience? Let me tell you about patience. The dinosaurs were fun creatures to watch. Interesting to consider and discuss. But they had no potential for fucking with. An evil scheme playing out against a gigantic dumb reptile just doesn't have the same zing as that played out against a thinking, feeling being. One that was capable of feeling the hurt. One that was capable of understanding the gerat injustice of it all. When Joe first came to Earth the highest form of life was a fish swimming in the ocean. He had to carefully push the species, using contingent events like a crushing from his boot, spend hours of research in his cluttered lab, and dream. He knew the dinaosaurs would take millions of years to go extinct. He used the time to put the finishing touches on his already ancient plan. When the meteor came that wiped them out, he merely moved deep into his tunnel complex beneath the surface, and played his guitar while he went through his plan over and over in his mind.
Getting some respect? Some feeling for his power? An unchecked malignent force of that scope with designs upon your future as a species. I think you'd better at least break a light chill sweat for effect...
Quote
But think about it. This thing, this being, must have a powerful mind. He's fucked with our chromosomes and yet we still function basically okay. We don't walk lopsided. We don't stutter. We managed to invent some pretty cool things.
Now you are right to distinguish between a malicious hack and a creative being. That is a great trick to detecting evil, for true evil despises createing anything of value, unless it ultimately leads to destruction. And that's Joe in a nutshall. As close to a creative force an evil being can be. Having the patience, the foresight, to create in order to destroy and taking great pride in it.
This is why even though he lacks flash or nay even an occasional strong emotion, he is popular at the big bad guy conventions, always a featured speaker, they respect him very much - and so should you.
He got the name Jumpin' Joe Chromosome from Flagg, a more typical villain. Joe's nature wouldn't allow him to object to something that clearly pleased his compadres and yet also showed their respect for his particular domain of evil. He was the guy that fucked with the genes.
You want to talk patience? Let me tell you about patience. The dinosaurs were fun creatures to watch. Interesting to consider and discuss. But they had no potential for fucking with. An evil scheme playing out against a gigantic dumb reptile just doesn't have the same zing as that played out against a thinking, feeling being. One that was capable of feeling the hurt. One that was capable of understanding the gerat injustice of it all. When Joe first came to Earth the highest form of life was a fish swimming in the ocean. He had to carefully push the species, using contingent events like a crushing from his boot, spend hours of research in his cluttered lab, and dream. He knew the dinaosaurs would take millions of years to go extinct. He used the time to put the finishing touches on his already ancient plan. When the meteor came that wiped them out, he merely moved deep into his tunnel complex beneath the surface, and played his guitar while he went through his plan over and over in his mind.
Getting some respect? Some feeling for his power? An unchecked malignent force of that scope with designs upon your future as a species. I think you'd better at least break a light chill sweat for effect...
Quote
Now Joe often makes a bad first impression... I mean, honestly, given the little bit of info you have on him, how many of you like him? Respect him?
But think about it. This thing, this being, must have a powerful mind. He's fucked with our chromosomes and yet we still function basically okay. We don't walk lopsided. We don't stutter. We managed to invent some pretty cool things.
Now you are right to distinguish between a malicious hack and a creative being. That is a great trick to detecting evil, for true evil despises createing anything of value, unless it ultimately leads to destruction. And that's Joe in a nutshall. As close to a creative force an evil being can be. Having the patience, the foresight, to create in order to destroy and taking great pride in it.
This is why even though he lacks flash or nay even an occasional strong emotion, he is popular at the big bad guy conventions, always a featured speaker, they respect him very much - and so should you.
He got the name Jumpin' Joe Chromosome from Flagg, a more typical villain. Joe's nature wouldn't allow him to object to something that clearly pleased his compadres and yet also showed their respect for his particular domain of evil. He was the guy that fucked with the genes.
You want to talk patience? Let me tell you about patience. The dinosaurs were fun creatures to watch. Interesting to consider and discuss. But they had no potential for fucking with. An evil scheme playing out against a gigantic dumb reptile just doesn't have the same zing as that played out against a thinking, feeling being. One that was capable of feeling the hurt. One that was capable of understanding the gerat injustice of it all. When Joe first came to Earth the highest form of life was a fish swimming in the ocean. He had to carefully push the species, using contingent events like a crushing from his boot, spend hours of research in his cluttered lab, and dream. He knew the dinaosaurs would take millions of years to go extinct. He used the time to put the finishing touches on his already ancient plan. When the meteor came that wiped them out, he merely moved deep into his tunnel complex beneath the surface, and played his guitar while he went through his plan over and over in his mind.
Getting some respect? Some feeling for his power? An unchecked malignent force of that scope with designs upon your future as a species. I think you'd better at least break a light chill sweat for effect...
Wow. You have a way with words.
Quote
But think about it. This thing, this being, must have a powerful mind. He's fucked with our chromosomes and yet we still function basically okay. We don't walk lopsided. We don't stutter. We managed to invent some pretty cool things.
Now you are right to distinguish between a malicious hack and a creative being. That is a great trick to detecting evil, for true evil despises createing anything of value, unless it ultimately leads to destruction. And that's Joe in a nutshall. As close to a creative force an evil being can be. Having the patience, the foresight, to create in order to destroy and taking great pride in it.
This is why even though he lacks flash or nay even an occasional strong emotion, he is popular at the big bad guy conventions, always a featured speaker, they respect him very much - and so should you.
He got the name Jumpin' Joe Chromosome from Flagg, a more typical villain. Joe's nature wouldn't allow him to object to something that clearly pleased his compadres and yet also showed their respect for his particular domain of evil. He was the guy that fucked with the genes.
You want to talk patience? Let me tell you about patience. The dinosaurs were fun creatures to watch. Interesting to consider and discuss. But they had no potential for fucking with. An evil scheme playing out against a gigantic dumb reptile just doesn't have the same zing as that played out against a thinking, feeling being. One that was capable of feeling the hurt. One that was capable of understanding the gerat injustice of it all. When Joe first came to Earth the highest form of life was a fish swimming in the ocean. He had to carefully push the species, using contingent events like a crushing from his boot, spend hours of research in his cluttered lab, and dream. He knew the dinaosaurs would take millions of years to go extinct. He used the time to put the finishing touches on his already ancient plan. When the meteor came that wiped them out, he merely moved deep into his tunnel complex beneath the surface, and played his guitar while he went through his plan over and over in his mind.
Getting some respect? Some feeling for his power? An unchecked malignent force of that scope with designs upon your future as a species. I think you'd better at least break a light chill sweat for effect...
Wow. You have a way with words.
Quote
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/16/14 @ 6:44pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Created by:
dudley_do_ride
2/17/14 @ 1:36pm
(EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,267
Mankind's intelligence... collective... the most advanced society... linked together... trifles for Joe. He was a feudal ruler who required no visible worship. No matter how bright, how organized whole societies, whole cultures, they bowed to their chromosomes and these bowed to Joe.
At least until now. Now that man unknowingly started to free itself from his rule. By his work in genetics. It was years away from being a real danger. But Joe already was planning his moves. Naturally. He had started his grand human experiment back when walking around on land was a new thing for organisms.
That's how well he knew, that's how well he could guide. The exact length of the median aardvark nose was a specification found on page 323 of his Earth Fauna Specifications and Requirements Document. As an interesting side note, lovers of complete document sets would be amazed at his full adherence to what many would call classical program flow. He took no shortcuts when it came to specifying and designing, and documenting the same. That he was evil and was merely perturbing off of a workikng system was no excuse in his mind nor was the fact that he didn't have to answer to any boss or council. He simply saw it as part of the discipline that his craft required. Part of what made him great.
Flagg would joke that Joe couldn't wipe his ass without planning every step of the procedure years in advance. But then Joe never found himself screaming like an outta control lunatic, waving an axe over his head, as he chased some enemy up a tower's stairs. His plans never seemed to unravel like that. He never lost his cool. He never required an unexpected clean up on aisle nine.
In Nature the parasite is one of the least developed forms... In the corridors of evil, this parasite was probably the most highly developed form. He lived off of mankind's development and offered nothing in return but some species level protection from possible extinction events early in its history. He kept the Neaderthals at bay while the weakling homo sapiens gained in numbers for example. He broke apart the continents to give some helpful isolation. This last act by the way showed his ability as a fund raiser. Imagine what it took to get the funds from his tight f1sted colleagues. Arguing that mankind's survival was necessary for the future of evil. Headaches... reality induced headaches he brought to the deep evil thinkers.
Yes Joe... humble Joe... talented Joe... seemed to be a force for all eternity.
Quote
At least until now. Now that man unknowingly started to free itself from his rule. By his work in genetics. It was years away from being a real danger. But Joe already was planning his moves. Naturally. He had started his grand human experiment back when walking around on land was a new thing for organisms.
That's how well he knew, that's how well he could guide. The exact length of the median aardvark nose was a specification found on page 323 of his Earth Fauna Specifications and Requirements Document. As an interesting side note, lovers of complete document sets would be amazed at his full adherence to what many would call classical program flow. He took no shortcuts when it came to specifying and designing, and documenting the same. That he was evil and was merely perturbing off of a workikng system was no excuse in his mind nor was the fact that he didn't have to answer to any boss or council. He simply saw it as part of the discipline that his craft required. Part of what made him great.
Flagg would joke that Joe couldn't wipe his ass without planning every step of the procedure years in advance. But then Joe never found himself screaming like an outta control lunatic, waving an axe over his head, as he chased some enemy up a tower's stairs. His plans never seemed to unravel like that. He never lost his cool. He never required an unexpected clean up on aisle nine.
In Nature the parasite is one of the least developed forms... In the corridors of evil, this parasite was probably the most highly developed form. He lived off of mankind's development and offered nothing in return but some species level protection from possible extinction events early in its history. He kept the Neaderthals at bay while the weakling homo sapiens gained in numbers for example. He broke apart the continents to give some helpful isolation. This last act by the way showed his ability as a fund raiser. Imagine what it took to get the funds from his tight f1sted colleagues. Arguing that mankind's survival was necessary for the future of evil. Headaches... reality induced headaches he brought to the deep evil thinkers.
Yes Joe... humble Joe... talented Joe... seemed to be a force for all eternity.
Quote
