It is the holiday season once again. Time for another epic... 50 Shades of Green and Red

After all... who wants to hibernate?

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Oh it is easy to list those festive holiday things that are either green or red. But a real pro can list those things that are simultaneously both...

1) A bunch of holly with a red ribbon. A kind of darkish shade of green and what you will.

2) A Christmas tree with apple ornaments. mmmmmm smell the green, taste the red.

3) A Christmas frog in an eggnogy blender. The answer to what's green and red and has a helluva angular velocity. Yum... can I lick it when it's done?

4) Then there is the crisp, whispy condensate falling from rusted, leaky pipes beneath a soon to be frozen over algae covered settling pool. Kind of an orangish tingle that makes you want to mingle with some algae flecked goodness.

5) Grinch skin spread out over who fur after the great winter hunt. Kinda makes you feels wicked horny.

Yes these are the start of a sensual assault on your hackles, your moreys, your morays, your moreayes, that will make it easier for your loreesque amores.

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Instead of Fifty Shades of Grey, with Christmas coming, I'll accept Green, and Red, since they are two Christmas colors. The only time I would hibernate is if, and when the weather isn't nice, and cooperating to do anything, or too much outside. Quote

Instead of Fifty Shades of Grey, with Christmas coming, I'll accept Green, and Red, since they are two Christmas colors. The only time I would hibernate is if, and when the weather isn't nice, and cooperating to do anything, or too much outside.


That's right. It's like chocolate and peanut butter. Those fifty shades and the holidays.

Some go for Kermit underwear with red racing stripes. Some go for candy cane whips. Some slip in a new control word like stoppenzemitzeinerveerdnesskornensienichtsehendieroteshundgreenishvarneenneontheenees


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Samuela walked toward him on heels that made a sharp clicking sound on the floor. Her red leather outfit was tight on her lithe, thin body. Her hips swayed to starboard then port, starboard then port... with a sexy list.
In her right hand was an evergreen branch whip. Her teeth gleamed fiercely in the pale winter light, surrounded by wet, crimson lips. Her rich deep tan betrayed that she had been on the slopes very recently.
Why all this detail? Why cater so much to the senses? Is the scene more important than the plot?
No... I am doing this just to spare you the horrible depraved plot. What she does to the poor man. How he veers into the depths of mortal baseness. I want to convey the sense of it without assaulting your synapses. Yes I am here in some pervy voyeuristic sense... a captive of it all... caught in the red light of this lurid capsizing into wretched sexual monstrosities. But I can spare you by various devices...


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If you ask for white you want it all in equal amounts... If you ask for black you ask for nothingness on three fronts. Gray is just the same in mid-size portions. But red plus green is far more interesting. Slightly different proportions result in much different results. Whether bright. Or darkly rich.
But you have to ask yourself... whattaya got against blue? In a way it makes sense, drawing blush without bruise. Making a pounding that moves great gobs of brightness to the extremities without breaking skin or vein. Luxuriating in soft yet somehow irritating, in a pleasant way, green. Ants in the pants. Switches in the britches. Indian burns. And even a friendly pox.
He that taketh away one yet is somehow more colorful can apply the lesson to other things. He knoweth when to give the burn and avoid the nurple.
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green and red, red and green. tis the colours of the season we're in.

I enjoy the green colour ones face becomes when they have too much spiked eggnog, also the red of drinking too much whiskey, ahhh christmas cheer...

but my favorite of all is the colours your see but don't really exist in the world of touching and feeling,

the green of envy of your older brothers way better and more expensive gifts, or perhaps of the tropical vacation your annoying neighbors are going on.

the red of anger of some idiot in a smart car taking the last parking spot at the mall, or of the non-stop christmas music your most hated co-worker plays on the radio at work starting in november.

tis the most wonderful time of the year Quote

green and red, red and green. tis the colours of the season we're in.

I enjoy the green colour ones face becomes when they have too much spiked eggnog, also the red of drinking too much whiskey, ahhh christmas cheer...

but my favorite of all is the colours your see but don't really exist in the world of touching and feeling,

the green of envy of your older brothers way better and more expensive gifts, or perhaps of the tropical vacation your annoying neighbors are going on.

the red of anger of some idiot in a smart car taking the last parking spot at the mall, or of the non-stop christmas music your most hated co-worker plays on the radio at work starting in november.

tis the most wonderful time of the year


arrrrrrrr! Up with the green and red! Here's to the bl00dy, half-crazed leprechauns that the damned optimists think are elves.

Fuck moderation... imbibe and become the diatribe. Feed your inner MacBeth as you cast your bleary eyes around the scene. Someday you will repay your smug brothers and those fucking neighbors... your boss... that damned yowling mutt the k1d next door got this year. For now set your santa traps in the chimney, there's no limit on that sucker.


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Here in the north... far in the north... winter has descended with a forceful finality. The land is locked in its grasp, with none to argue the matter, no relief until some vague, springish time in the future.
The ice worm shrieks. The wolf howls... enjoying the long dark night, the shadow of the pack playing out across snow. Snow... we have too few words to describe its variations, it forms, its consistencies. To the wolf eye the landscape is not one uniform sheet but is diverse and interesting. In sound, in sight, and even in scent.
But man, something interesting happens to man when he must work his way through the cold, the wind. No matter how busy the place he lives, there is something isolating about all this. He is alone when he leaves his front door and keenly aware of every vulnerability he may have. Oh he may enjoy the test it is true. It may invigorate him. But the point is the trip outside affects him. He is not the same when he returns. It is possible for his mind to become clean, pure, alive, even as Nature reminds him that his very life is a gift that could be taken from him by some change in the environment.
And this is why the return to the inside. The fire, the wreath, the woman, the ordeal... the ecstacy is more memorable at this time. The red blares forth stridently and sears his fascinated senses while the green pricks cold warming skin so sharply.
Thicks furs... rum filled drinks... storytellers bringing out the tribe's long complicated history. Never is the inside world so close, so real, so powerful.
Dance demons... strike furies... swirl dervishes of the bed top... unleash the spirits of the lamps and bottles. Bring the blush brand and join souls in the sweltering night... Quote

It was the harvest season but the fields lay unattended. No one walked the streets of the district villages. None lingered in their homes. For the Death stalked the land.
No they were all gathered in the keep. Where there was a party going and had been going for months now. Their lord, their protector, kept it going. Trying to make them forget the danger.
It would have worked too except he wasn't the most rich of lords. He could only afford a green room and a red room. And so the dancers of the masque had to jostle back and forth between them. A green room. A very green room. And a red room. A deathly, richly, red room.
Despite how the red room spooked them, they were f0rced by the mass of people, the press of people, the cabin fever of the people, to enter it frequently. Upon which they would shudder and pass again out.
And so it went. Day after day of reveling passing from joyous, relieved green to hideous, disgusting red.
Until one day there appeared in the red room... a costume that had not been seen before... in very poor taste... a corpse-like walking death complete with scythe... leering out from bl00d streaked death mask. A panic ensued as people trampled over each other to reach the green room.
The lord in anger pushed his way through the throng to the red room to deal deadly justice to the creator of the panic. To punish for the reminder of the malady devastating this land.
But alas matters had gotten far worse for now there lay only blackness at passage end and coming from red to green was the Death. Outside half a wing could be seen to be in blackness... a green from the other struggling weakly to cut through the darkness of the night... and then...
green became hideous red.... becoming lewder and lewder red...
Until it winked out and all was darkness and stillness of death.
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Richelieu: So glad you could come... I know that you are a busy man.

Green Arrow: My pleasure Eminence... Congratulations on Buckingham.

Richelieu: I am just a humble servant of France. It does give me pleasure to see her enemies come to their just desserts but I certainly do not take any credit for it.

Green Arrow: *with a wink* I shudder to even think it. How is Milady?

Eminence: Ah the famous de Winter is no more. She has passed on. She sings with the Choir Invisible.

Green Arrow: So sorry to hear about it. I heard that... she was executed by those... musketeers.

Richelieu: That is correct. They took justice into their own hands. Though technically one of them is a count and has some right in these kind of matters. And actually this is why I invited you here today... how would you like to help me with those... musketeers?

Green Arrow: Ah... Now that is quite the assignment. Four well placed shots and my name will go down in history. What assassin can resist?

Richelieu: Excellent. France will be forever in your debt. It will be the start of a new era. The triumph of the red and the green over the pitiful blue.

Green Arrow: One question though Eminence... Why didn't you get Green Hornet instead?

Richelieu: Because I want this to be discrete. A few quick quiet shots in the forest and not some costly, sprawling brawl across some city. Because I am an artist... not some cheap visigothic remnant.

Green Arrow: It will be done Eminence. Viva la France.




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