Forum Topics
Male Performer Chat: What effect does this have on you?
Hi all
Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler Quote
Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler Quote
Hi all
Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler
Effect on my life? Mixed. Keep reading and absorb the rest of the answers.
Effect on my dating life: Totally removed it. I have no interest in dating.
Effect on my professional life? None, I'm retired.
Effect on my happiness? None. This is entertainment. How could it affect anything any more than watching YouTube videos or TV?
Sense of connection? I don't know WTF you're asking.
Interest in engaging in other things? Same as always.
Effect on my finances? My net worth has increased each year I've watched these hot naked people have fun.
Time spent on the site? Some days I don't login. Some days I might spend as much as an hour. It depends on what else I'm doing that day that didn't get affected by watching hot naked men jerk themselves silly.
Now you tell us, what is your purpose in even asking us to be so sincere to you? Perhaps you wish to save people from themselves?
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Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler
Effect on my life? Mixed. Keep reading and absorb the rest of the answers.
Effect on my dating life: Totally removed it. I have no interest in dating.
Effect on my professional life? None, I'm retired.
Effect on my happiness? None. This is entertainment. How could it affect anything any more than watching YouTube videos or TV?
Sense of connection? I don't know WTF you're asking.
Interest in engaging in other things? Same as always.
Effect on my finances? My net worth has increased each year I've watched these hot naked people have fun.
Time spent on the site? Some days I don't login. Some days I might spend as much as an hour. It depends on what else I'm doing that day that didn't get affected by watching hot naked men jerk themselves silly.
Now you tell us, what is your purpose in even asking us to be so sincere to you? Perhaps you wish to save people from themselves?
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Now you tell us, what is your purpose in even asking us to be so sincere to you? Perhaps you wish to save people from themselves?
My interactions with Tyler Harris have always shown him to be positive, non judgmental, intellectual, and self-reflective. So I wouldn't have a problem answering his questions, but maybe not in the forums? But whys are important, and perfessir's point is well-taken. It would be helpful to know the purpose of wanting candid and sincere answers to those questions.
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Hi Perfessir
Your answer was wonderful, thank you.
Have no fear, no saving will be forced upon you or anyone else in this thread. Quote
Your answer was wonderful, thank you.
Have no fear, no saving will be forced upon you or anyone else in this thread. Quote
My interactions with Tyler Harris have always shown him to be positive, non judgmental, intellectual, and self-reflective. So I wouldn't have a problem answering his questions, but maybe not in the forums? But whys are important, and perfessir's point is well-taken. It would be helpful to know the purpose of wanting candid and sincere answers to those questions.
I appreciate your response. Happy to share the intention behind it once people have had a chance to answer- the intention would no doubt affect the answers.
But to ease everyone who is worried about it-
Its personal curiosity. Something I've been reflecting on myself for a couple years now. Since I only get to see the effect it has on myself and that is certainly a limited appreciation of what effect its actually having I thought getting other minds on the task might prove a useful reflection.
Second, I'm not demanding anything of anyone. If someone is happy to respond, please do. If you feel at all put upon by the question, then just carry on with your lives and I'll carry on with this thread.
Ciao,
Tyler Quote
I appreciate your response. Happy to share the intention behind it once people have had a chance to answer- the intention would no doubt affect the answers.
But to ease everyone who is worried about it-
Its personal curiosity. Something I've been reflecting on myself for a couple years now. Since I only get to see the effect it has on myself and that is certainly a limited appreciation of what effect its actually having I thought getting other minds on the task might prove a useful reflection.
Second, I'm not demanding anything of anyone. If someone is happy to respond, please do. If you feel at all put upon by the question, then just carry on with your lives and I'll carry on with this thread.
Ciao,
Tyler
Being incurably curious myself, I can relate. My experience as a female customer might not be typical. I came on the site to learn how to talk with men within the safety and control of anonymity. Doesn't mean I was always in control and that there wasn't a sexual component, but the practice on Flirt was more beneficial than therapy.
Effect on my life: Overwhelmingly positive, though there have been some harrowing moments.
Effect on my dating life: Saved a relationship with then bf now husband.
Effect on my professional life: Communication skills learned here helped in my career. Seriously.
Effect on my happiness: Ultimately positive, but not without some pain along the way.
Sense of connection: In my experience, performers who feel secure are better able to value the experience of the customer and are usually able to generate desired connection online; whether it's sexual, emotional, or listening/talking. I've been lucky to have experiences with performers like that. I feel a genuine friendship with 2 performers after 5 years on the site. I've largely restricted offline communications to twitter. Flirt phone is fun, but that's still within the site. Though I've had my fantasies, I've never seriously wanted to meet up with anyone from Flirt and have not.
Effect on finances: Early on I had access to some discretionary funds and spent them here. ($1000-$3000) a month. Now it's ($50-$200) a month. Time spent early on maybe 4-6 hours a week, much of it in privates. Now 1-2 hours a month mostly to say hi.
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But to ease everyone who is worried about it-
Its personal curiosity. Something I've been reflecting on myself for a couple years now. Since I only get to see the effect it has on myself and that is certainly a limited appreciation of what effect its actually having I thought getting other minds on the task might prove a useful reflection.
Second, I'm not demanding anything of anyone. If someone is happy to respond, please do. If you feel at all put upon by the question, then just carry on with your lives and I'll carry on with this thread.
Ciao,
Tyler
Being incurably curious myself, I can relate. My experience as a female customer might not be typical. I came on the site to learn how to talk with men within the safety and control of anonymity. Doesn't mean I was always in control and that there wasn't a sexual component, but the practice on Flirt was more beneficial than therapy.
Effect on my life: Overwhelmingly positive, though there have been some harrowing moments.
Effect on my dating life: Saved a relationship with then bf now husband.
Effect on my professional life: Communication skills learned here helped in my career. Seriously.
Effect on my happiness: Ultimately positive, but not without some pain along the way.
Sense of connection: In my experience, performers who feel secure are better able to value the experience of the customer and are usually able to generate desired connection online; whether it's sexual, emotional, or listening/talking. I've been lucky to have experiences with performers like that. I feel a genuine friendship with 2 performers after 5 years on the site. I've largely restricted offline communications to twitter. Flirt phone is fun, but that's still within the site. Though I've had my fantasies, I've never seriously wanted to meet up with anyone from Flirt and have not.
Effect on finances: Early on I had access to some discretionary funds and spent them here. ($1000-$3000) a month. Now it's ($50-$200) a month. Time spent early on maybe 4-6 hours a week, much of it in privates. Now 1-2 hours a month mostly to say hi.
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You don't ask about it, Tyler, but I believe there's a huge addictive aspect to participating on the site and for the site's success. It's discussed on several of these forums. Adrenaline, sex, attention, approval, and more go to "feed the need" to spend. I'm wondering if performers feel anything similar, especially when they're making large amounts of money and winning contests.
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It's a place to have a good show and find a good performer and fantasize for a few moments until the credits are gone.
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This thread confirms and supports my stated reason for starting and continuing Flirt. My observation is that most men don't generally answer direct questions unless sex or money is involved. 
If you're a motivated, self-directed researcher, Tyler, you'll find much of what you're looking for in these forums. You only have to look.
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If you're a motivated, self-directed researcher, Tyler, you'll find much of what you're looking for in these forums. You only have to look.
Quote
Created by:
gofish
8/9/21 @ 1:47pm
(EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: IN YOUR DREAMS
Posts: 1,792
This thread confirms and supports my stated reason for starting and continuing Flirt. My observation is that most men don't generally answer direct questions unless sex or money is involved. If you're a motivated, self-directed researcher, Tyler, you'll find much of what you're looking for in these forums. You only have to look.
KFinches I have to say your responses are very impressive and well said. Sort of think many models just might not be aware of the forum which just might provide them with more ideas as to how to run their chatroom
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If you're a motivated, self-directed researcher, Tyler, you'll find much of what you're looking for in these forums. You only have to look.KFinches I have to say your responses are very impressive and well said. Sort of think many models just might not be aware of the forum which just might provide them with more ideas as to how to run their chatroom
Quote
Hi all
Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler
Interesting that you ask, because I've actually been thinking about this a bit lately.
I'll answer the first question last, because there's much to be said about that one...
Effect on my dating life? Not much; I've been single for a few years and am not exactly interested in dating anyone. If anything, Flirt4Free may have enabled that even more because I've actually spent so much time here that I have even less time for dating and never even think about it anyway.
Professional life? I've gotta admit, I have actually procrastinated on some pretty important work on several occasions just so that I could spend an unreasonable amount of time here. I had to wean myself from this site for months in order to regain some control over myself, and it was not an easy thing to do.
Happiness: I would not necessarily characterize myself as any "happier" because of this site. Although there are a few people who I am genuinely happy to have to met here, I wouldn't go so far to ascribe any overall happiness in my personal life to this website: my general state of happiness hasn't really changed since joining this site. Flirt4Free is a very good distraction when it's needed.
Sense of connection online/offline? I've noticed that it is far easier for me to start feeling connected to the people I meet here than to a lot of the people I see everyday in real life. Perhaps it is because of the fact that I am literally paying for someone else's attention, but beyond that I frequently get the feeling that some models actually do care about how my day has been. They also noticeably appreciate it when I ask about theirs, which I figure means that mightn't happen too often. Some will email and ask about or wish me luck with very specific things I didn't even realize I told them about earlier. I have also made a few real friends outside of the models on the site, and it actually feels like we've known each other for much longer than we really have. It is very easy to find community here, since we all clearly have one major interest in common. I do feel somewhat less connected to all but my closest friends and family members, especially with my entire existence having been almost fully virtual for 16 months. That said, I'd say the ever-so-convenient distraction that is Flirt4Free has certainly exacerbated that trend of disconnectedness since I still occasionally find myself thinking about logging in even when around people I care about in real life.
Interest in other things? This one is mixed since, again, I spend a considerable amount of time here, and think about being here a lot when I'm away, which takes away from time that could have been spent pursuing other interests. But at the same time, the conversations I have with models and other members on this site are so varied, and many times enlightening or informative, that I end up being inspired to try new things I never would've thought of or that I even wanted to try, but never really had the will to fully commit to: like a few models actually helped me become conversational in Russian while planning a trip to Russia. Another one separately encouraged me to start learning how to cook, and it's actually very fun. I was apprehensive at first because I just felt it was too tedious. I'm still definitely no chef, but I've made progress in that regard.
Effect on me and my life? In a sense, this website has had a profound impact on my online activity in ways that extend far beyond the flirt4free domain. I'm not sure about others but I've found that I have been mostly substituting time I would've spent consuming content from other places, especially p0rnographic content from sites like P0rnHub, with time spent on Flirt4Free instead. Something about actually being able to interact with the performers, even if they are not doing anything particularly erotic, makes this website far more attractive. Although I *rarely* ever cum while online here, there is something special about this site; a certain better-than-sex je ne sais quoi that makes it feel like it's totally worth it. It rarely ever even crosses my mind to even begin jerking off when I get going. Additionally, the web developers at Flirt4Free appear to have done an amazing job of gamifying the entire experience to the point where I can sometimes feel completely divorced from reality once I enter Flirt world: the layout and color scheme, the sound effects for everything from power boosts, to gifts, to special effects like fireworks. The different levels of tip rain, the recorded videos, the email server, even these social media-esque forums! The inherently competitive nature of all the (very) frequent contests adds an unprecedented layer of adrenaline and excitement as I root for one or several specific model(s) over others, almost like rooting for my favorite olympic athletes at the Games -- except around here, the more you spend, the more likely your favorite models are to succeed, and that, coupled with my attachment to several of the models, is precisely what tempts me to frequently spend far more than I ever intended to on this site. It can sometimes feel like being in a gigantic erotic casino: almost always (simultaneously) buzzing, confusing, exciting, frustrating, lively, and maddeningly addictive(!) which pretty much underpins my turbulent relationship with this website. It brings out the best and the worst in me. About spending: there's no set amount of cash that I usually spend per month here -- it varies wildly from month to month. Obviously, if I'm not online at all then it's zero, but if I'm on and active it can be very easy to spend several hundred dollars in a week, not including contests. In an active month? Thousands. If you can see what we pay for credits from your end, compare that to the number of 3- and 4-digit tips that you (and likely a few others) receive from the same person in an average week or two, and you'll quickly realize how easy it is to spend large amounts here in a month. It's just addictive enough that once offline, I sometimes end up wondering how I managed to spend so much so quickly, but it's never so bad that I feel like I've made a terrible mistake and never come back... clearly, I keep coming back.
Sincerely, Quote
Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler
Interesting that you ask, because I've actually been thinking about this a bit lately.
I'll answer the first question last, because there's much to be said about that one...
Effect on my dating life? Not much; I've been single for a few years and am not exactly interested in dating anyone. If anything, Flirt4Free may have enabled that even more because I've actually spent so much time here that I have even less time for dating and never even think about it anyway.
Professional life? I've gotta admit, I have actually procrastinated on some pretty important work on several occasions just so that I could spend an unreasonable amount of time here. I had to wean myself from this site for months in order to regain some control over myself, and it was not an easy thing to do.
Happiness: I would not necessarily characterize myself as any "happier" because of this site. Although there are a few people who I am genuinely happy to have to met here, I wouldn't go so far to ascribe any overall happiness in my personal life to this website: my general state of happiness hasn't really changed since joining this site. Flirt4Free is a very good distraction when it's needed.
Sense of connection online/offline? I've noticed that it is far easier for me to start feeling connected to the people I meet here than to a lot of the people I see everyday in real life. Perhaps it is because of the fact that I am literally paying for someone else's attention, but beyond that I frequently get the feeling that some models actually do care about how my day has been. They also noticeably appreciate it when I ask about theirs, which I figure means that mightn't happen too often. Some will email and ask about or wish me luck with very specific things I didn't even realize I told them about earlier. I have also made a few real friends outside of the models on the site, and it actually feels like we've known each other for much longer than we really have. It is very easy to find community here, since we all clearly have one major interest in common. I do feel somewhat less connected to all but my closest friends and family members, especially with my entire existence having been almost fully virtual for 16 months. That said, I'd say the ever-so-convenient distraction that is Flirt4Free has certainly exacerbated that trend of disconnectedness since I still occasionally find myself thinking about logging in even when around people I care about in real life.
Interest in other things? This one is mixed since, again, I spend a considerable amount of time here, and think about being here a lot when I'm away, which takes away from time that could have been spent pursuing other interests. But at the same time, the conversations I have with models and other members on this site are so varied, and many times enlightening or informative, that I end up being inspired to try new things I never would've thought of or that I even wanted to try, but never really had the will to fully commit to: like a few models actually helped me become conversational in Russian while planning a trip to Russia. Another one separately encouraged me to start learning how to cook, and it's actually very fun. I was apprehensive at first because I just felt it was too tedious. I'm still definitely no chef, but I've made progress in that regard.
Effect on me and my life? In a sense, this website has had a profound impact on my online activity in ways that extend far beyond the flirt4free domain. I'm not sure about others but I've found that I have been mostly substituting time I would've spent consuming content from other places, especially p0rnographic content from sites like P0rnHub, with time spent on Flirt4Free instead. Something about actually being able to interact with the performers, even if they are not doing anything particularly erotic, makes this website far more attractive. Although I *rarely* ever cum while online here, there is something special about this site; a certain better-than-sex je ne sais quoi that makes it feel like it's totally worth it. It rarely ever even crosses my mind to even begin jerking off when I get going. Additionally, the web developers at Flirt4Free appear to have done an amazing job of gamifying the entire experience to the point where I can sometimes feel completely divorced from reality once I enter Flirt world: the layout and color scheme, the sound effects for everything from power boosts, to gifts, to special effects like fireworks. The different levels of tip rain, the recorded videos, the email server, even these social media-esque forums! The inherently competitive nature of all the (very) frequent contests adds an unprecedented layer of adrenaline and excitement as I root for one or several specific model(s) over others, almost like rooting for my favorite olympic athletes at the Games -- except around here, the more you spend, the more likely your favorite models are to succeed, and that, coupled with my attachment to several of the models, is precisely what tempts me to frequently spend far more than I ever intended to on this site. It can sometimes feel like being in a gigantic erotic casino: almost always (simultaneously) buzzing, confusing, exciting, frustrating, lively, and maddeningly addictive(!) which pretty much underpins my turbulent relationship with this website. It brings out the best and the worst in me. About spending: there's no set amount of cash that I usually spend per month here -- it varies wildly from month to month. Obviously, if I'm not online at all then it's zero, but if I'm on and active it can be very easy to spend several hundred dollars in a week, not including contests. In an active month? Thousands. If you can see what we pay for credits from your end, compare that to the number of 3- and 4-digit tips that you (and likely a few others) receive from the same person in an average week or two, and you'll quickly realize how easy it is to spend large amounts here in a month. It's just addictive enough that once offline, I sometimes end up wondering how I managed to spend so much so quickly, but it's never so bad that I feel like I've made a terrible mistake and never come back... clearly, I keep coming back.
Sincerely, Quote
misterWives all I think one can say is that has to have been one very well thought out response.
Haha well like I said, I have been thinking about it quite a bit as of late. Quote
Haha well like I said, I have been thinking about it quite a bit as of late. Quote
Hi all
Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler
GAME ON! I saw this post a while back and at first I was taken aback by the possible intrusion into our lives but I think this might benefit some folks, now having been here as a member for quite some time.
1. Point number one-what effect does this site have on me? It brings out my addictive qualities and the more pleasure I get mentally or physically, the more I crave, the more I throw all caution to the wind to the point where I pull out credit cards left and right, shift money around until the inevitable "Credit Card Denied" comes up.
2. Effect on my dating life? It crushes any chance of dating if I'm just sitting here with my pud out staring at one of you gorgeous hunks. BUT if I'm having sex(very rare) or jerk off, and I think of the last hot F4F or chat model that I was with, it makes the sex better.
3. What effect on my professional life? Nothing, Nada, Rien, Not a thing. This aspect of my life I can compartmentalize. Totally separate from my F4F life. I can fake it well and seem like an uptight conservative prude at work.
4. Effect on my happiness. Okay, generally, I am a happy guy, but seeing hot men getting off makes me happy, baby! But of course, when the F4F site is shut off, I feel the loneliness and I get the reality check that I'm a homely, aged, out of shape, goober that no body really wants and when I strip down the facade of what I would like people to think I am, I know I am nothing except a few generated usernames with made up wonderful persona for the models to think I am.
5. Sense of connection online/offline. I am very well connected online and offline. I'm just an ugly old man and I'm cool with that.
6. Interest in engaging in other things. Yes, of course, just because I'm here doesn't mean I don't do sports and bungee cord jumping. Of course I do all that. I'm just here because I get horny and nobody wants my homely ass.
AND THAT, is my God-honest response. If I made you cringe, I meant to do so.
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Been no cam for half a decade or so and just discovered this forum exists.
My question to anyone who is willing to take some time out and genuinely consider- what effect does this site have on you and your life? Dating life? Professional life? Happiness? Sense of connection online/offline? Interest in engaging in other things? etc
If you're open to it Id appreciate if you share the money and/or time spend on the site each month. If you're tempted to misrepresent either of those then just leave them out.
I'll leave it at that without any more context so as to not taint the answers too much.
Hope you're all well,
Tyler
GAME ON! I saw this post a while back and at first I was taken aback by the possible intrusion into our lives but I think this might benefit some folks, now having been here as a member for quite some time.
1. Point number one-what effect does this site have on me? It brings out my addictive qualities and the more pleasure I get mentally or physically, the more I crave, the more I throw all caution to the wind to the point where I pull out credit cards left and right, shift money around until the inevitable "Credit Card Denied" comes up.
2. Effect on my dating life? It crushes any chance of dating if I'm just sitting here with my pud out staring at one of you gorgeous hunks. BUT if I'm having sex(very rare) or jerk off, and I think of the last hot F4F or chat model that I was with, it makes the sex better.
3. What effect on my professional life? Nothing, Nada, Rien, Not a thing. This aspect of my life I can compartmentalize. Totally separate from my F4F life. I can fake it well and seem like an uptight conservative prude at work.
4. Effect on my happiness. Okay, generally, I am a happy guy, but seeing hot men getting off makes me happy, baby! But of course, when the F4F site is shut off, I feel the loneliness and I get the reality check that I'm a homely, aged, out of shape, goober that no body really wants and when I strip down the facade of what I would like people to think I am, I know I am nothing except a few generated usernames with made up wonderful persona for the models to think I am.
5. Sense of connection online/offline. I am very well connected online and offline. I'm just an ugly old man and I'm cool with that.
6. Interest in engaging in other things. Yes, of course, just because I'm here doesn't mean I don't do sports and bungee cord jumping. Of course I do all that. I'm just here because I get horny and nobody wants my homely ass.
AND THAT, is my God-honest response. If I made you cringe, I meant to do so.
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