Josh Polk: Laughter is the best Medicine - 7/26/13 - Male Performer Chat

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Laughter is the best Medicine

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Male Performer Chat: Laughter is the best Medicine

Created by: Demonte

1/13/14 @ 12:51pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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school teacher ask students to write "My summer holidays", after they done, teacher didn't put "A" marks... get it rated only with "16+" and "18+" marks.

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Created by: malteeser

1/14/14 @ 9:53am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies." He responded.

"Oh! Are you k i l l i n g any?" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked ..... "How can you tell them apart?"

He responded, "3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone."

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Created by: Demonte

1/16/14 @ 3:03am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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son ask his dad : "Dad, why condoms come in 1, 3 or 12 pack?"
dad : "look, the 1 in pack supposed to be used by students in high school, on sundays......the 3 in pack supposed to be used by students in college like on friday, saturday and sunday...... well, 12 in pack supposed to be used by long term married couples like jan, feb, march.............."

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Created by: malteeser

1/16/14 @ 6:17am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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One day an at home wife is alone and the doorbell rings.

She opens it to a guy, "Hi, is Tony home?"

The wife replies, "No, he went to the store, but you can wait here if you want."

So they sit down and after a while of silence the friend says "You know Sara, you have the greatest breasts I have ever seen. I'd give you a hundred buck just to see one."

Sara thinks about it for a second and figures, what the hell - a hundred bucks! She opens her robe and shows one to him for a few seconds. He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table. They sit there a while longer and guy then says "That was so amazing I've got to see both of them. I'll give you another 100 dollars if I could just see the both of them together."

Sara amazed by the offer sits and thinks a bit about it and thinks, heck, why not? So she opens her robe and gives Chris a nice long chance to cop a look.

A while later Tony arrives back home from the store. The wife goes up to him, "You know, your friend Chris came over."

Tony thinks about it for a second and says, "Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?"

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Created by: malteeser

1/17/14 @ 12:07pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Three mates are down the pub. Bill and Joe are arguing about the amount of control they have over their wives, while the third bloke, Fred, says nothing.

After a while, Bill turns to Fred and says, "Well, what about you? What sort of control have you got?"

"I'll tell you," Fred replies. "Just the other night my missus came crawling to me on her hands and knees."

The other two were absolutely amazed. "What happened then?", Joe asked.

"She said, 'Get out from under the bed and fight like a man!!!".

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Created by: malteeser

1/18/14 @ 6:07am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Bubba was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he sent Mary Louise to the hardware store. At the hardware store Mary Louise saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf while she was waiting for Joe Bob to finish waiting on a customer. When Joe Bob was finished, Mary Louise asked how much for the teapot? Joe Bob replied "That's silver and it costs $100!"

"My goodness, that sure is a lotta money!" Mary Louise exclaimed. She then proceeded to describe the hinge that Bubba had sent her to buy, and Jo Bob went to the backroom to find a hinge. From the backroom Joe Bob yelled "Mary Louise, you wanna screw for that hinge?' To which Mary Louise replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."

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Created by: Demonte

1/18/14 @ 7:30am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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Q : " why cock head always bigger than cock shaft?"
A : " cock head prevent your palm come off during wanking and knock off your forehead"

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Created by: malteeser

1/20/14 @ 10:49am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A man suspected his wife was seeing another man, so he hired the famous Chinese detective, Chen Lee, to watch and report any activities while he was gone. A few days later, he received this report:

MOST HONORABLE SIR:
YOU LEAVE HOUSE
I WATCH HOUSE
HE COME TO HOUSE. I WATCH.
HE AND SHE LEAVE HOUSE. I FOLLOW.
HE AND SHE GO IN HOTEL. I CLIMB TREE.
I LOOK IN WINDOW.
HE KISS SHE. SHE KISS HE.
HE STRIP SHE. SHE STRIP HE.
HE PLAY WITH SHE. SHE PLAY WITH HE.
I PLAY WITH ME. I FALL OUT OF TREE. I NOT SEE.

NO FEE,

CHEN LEE.

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Created by: malteeser

1/20/14 @ 10:54am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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One in Spanish for my friends in Colombia.
I love you guys.

Dos madres hablando:
- �D�gale a su hijo que me deje de imitar!
- Jaimito, �deja de hacerte el idiota!

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Created by: malteeser

1/20/14 @ 12:20pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Another good one in Spanish especially dedicated to Jose:

Un t�o va al m�dico y le comenta:
- Doctor, tengo el siguiente problema: cuando hago el amor con mi mujer, me da la impresi�n de que no siente nada. Algunas veces incluso se duerme... �fig�rese!.
- Eso tiene una explicaci�n cient�fica. Algunas mujeres cuando se excitan se acaloran tanto, que les es imposible sentir nada. Trate de hacerle el amor y abanicarla al mismo tiempo.
- �Gracias, Doctor!.
Y esa noche as� lo hizo, pero cuando atend�a al abanico, no atend�a a lo otro. As� que contrat� a un negro para que la abanicase, mientras �l le hac�a el amor.
- Dale, negro. �Aban�ca!. �Sientes algo ahora, mi amor?.
- No, nada.
- �M�s fuerte, negro!. �Carajo!. �Y ahora, cari�o?.
- Nada, nada...
- A ver, negro. Dame para ac� el abanico y t� dale a ella.
El negro se pone encima de la mujer y empieza con lo suyo, mientras el marido la abanicaba.
- �Y ahora, amor, sientes algo?.
- ��S��... ahora s��... ahhhh... AHHHH...!.
- �Ves, negro?. �As� se abanica!.

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Created by: malteeser

1/21/14 @ 12:10pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Another one in Spanish - translation into English follows.
Una mujer se va de viaje a Brasil para asistir a un curso de entrenamiento de dos semanas de su empresa. Su esposo la llev� al aeropuerto y le dese� un feliz viaje. La esposa le contest�:
- Gracias, mi amor, �qu� quieres que te traiga?.
El esposo solt� una carcajada y le dijo:
- �Una brasile�a!.
La mujer no dijo nada y fue a embarcarse en su vuelo.
Dos semanas despu�s, �l fue a recogerla al aeropuerto y le pregunt�:
- �Y, coraz�n m�o, c�mo te fue en el viaje?.
- Muy bien, muchas gracias.
- �Y mi regalo?.
- �Qu� regalo?.
- Lo que te ped�, pues... la brasile�a, jeje.
- Ah, �eso?. Ver�s, hice lo que pude, as� que ahora tenemos que esperar unos meses para saber si es brasile�a... o brasile�o.

A woman goes on a trip to Brazil to attend a training course of two weeks of her working company. Her husband took her to the airport and wished her a safe journey. The wife replied:
- Thank you, my love, what would you like me to bring you?.
The husband laughed and said:
- A Brazilian girl!
The woman said nothing and went to board the flight.
Two weeks later, he went to the airport to pick her up and asked:
- And, my heart, how was the trip?
- Very well, thank you very much.
- And my gift?
- What gift?
- What I asked you, well ... a Brazilian girl, hehe.
- Oh, that?. You see, I did what I could, so now we have to wait a few months to see if it is a Brazilian girl ... or a Brazilian boy.

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Created by: malteeser

1/25/14 @ 5:09am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Joke in Spanish and Translation in English

Superman volaba por el cielo necesitado, cuando vio a la Mujer Maravilla tomando el sol en la terraza sin ropa y con las piernas abiertas. Superman pens�:
- Esta es la m�a, pero para que nadie me vea lo voy a hacer r�pido con mi s�per velocidad y nadie se dar� cuenta de que fui yo.
Superman se tir� con toda su fuerza y r�pido lo hizo. La Mujer Maravilla sorprendida pregunt�:
- �Qu� pas�?.
El hombre invisible extra�ado respondi�:
- No lo s�, pero me qued� el culo muy dolorido.

Superman was flying through the sky when he saw Wonder Woman sunbathing on the deck naked and with her legs wide open. Superman thought
- This is mine, but I'll do with my super fast speed and no one will know it was me.
Superman went in full force and fast. Wonder Woman surprised asked:
- What happened?
The Invisible Man replied:
- I do not know, but I have a very very sore ass.

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Created by: Tim J

1/25/14 @ 9:37am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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SO funy!!! :d

LAUGHT ALWAYS MAKE HAPY EVERYBODY, DOESNT MATTER PLACE, OR TIME

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Created by: malteeser

1/27/14 @ 9:24am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Cinderella is now 95 years old. After a fulfilling life with the now dead prince, she happily sits upon her rocking chair, watching the world go by from her front porch, with a cat named Bob for companionship.

One sunny afternoon out of nowhere, appeared the fairy godmother. Cinderella said, "Fairy Godmother, what are you doing here after all these years"?

The fairy godmother replied, "Cinderella, you have lived an exemplary life since I last saw you. Is there anything for which your heart still yearns?"

Cinderella was taken aback, overjoyed, and after some thoughtful consideration, she uttered her first wish: "The prince was wonderful but not much of an investor. I'm living hand to mouth on my disability checks, and I wish I were wealthy beyond comprehension".

Instantly her rocking chair turned into solid gold. Cinderella said, "Ooh, thank you, Fairy Godmother". The fairy godmother replied "it is the least that I can do. What do you want for your second wish?"

Cinderella looked down at her frail body, and said, "I wish I were young and full of the beauty and youth I once had." At once, her wish became reality, and her beautiful young visage returned.

Cinderella felt stirrings inside of her that had been dormant for years. And then the fairy godmother spoke once more: "You have one more wish; what shall it be?"

Cinderella looks over to the frightened cat in the corner and says, "I wish for you to transform Bob, my old cat, into a kind and handsome young man."

Magically, Bob suddenly underwent so fundamental a change in his biological make-up that, when he stood before her, he was a man so beautiful the likes of him neither she nor the world had ever seen.

The fairy godmother said, "Congratulations, Cinderella, enjoy your new life. With a blazing shock of bright blue electricity, the fairy godmother was gone as suddenly as she appeared.

For a few eerie moments, Bob and Cinderella looked into each other's eyes. Cinderella sat, breathless, gazing at the most beautiful, stunningly perfect man she had ever seen. Then Bob walked over to Cinderella, who sat transfixed in her rocking chair, &held her close in his young muscular arms. He leaned in close, blowing her golden hair with his warm breath as he whispered.........

BET YOU'RE SORRY YOU NEUTERED ME.

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Created by: Demonte

1/27/14 @ 9:26am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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Two gays at drug store cant decide what type of condoms they wanna get:
1st gay : lets get "mercedes type of condoms", will drive it so comfy....
2nd gay: lets get " beemer type of condoms" better, will drive it so fast!!!
Drug-store seller heard their talk and put his two cents in it too : " look guys, i'm suggest you better get "jeep type of condoms", anyway you will drive through shit....."

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Created by: Demonte

1/28/14 @ 4:01am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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what does mean when hooker has running nose?
means IT full....

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Created by: malteeser

1/28/14 @ 12:43pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Esto son dos que iban s�per borrachos en un bar a punto de cerrar:
- Oye, �por qu� no vamos a mi casa para seguir con la juerga?.
- No, mejor a la m�a, que est� cerquita.
- A ver, veamos cu�l est� m�s cerca.
LLegan a la esquina, se detienen y dicen:
- Ya llegamos, esta es mi casa.
- No puede ser, tambi�n es la m�a.
- Llamaremos. As� sabremos de qui�n es.
Llaman a la puerta, sale la due�a y dice:
- �Muy bonito, padre e hijo borrachos!.

There are two that were super drunk in a bar which is about to close:
- Hey, why do not we go to my house to continue the spree?
- No, better go to mine, it is more near.
- So, let's see which is closer.
They reach the corner, stop and say:
- Here we are, this is my home.
- It can not be, it is also mine.
- We will call. So we know which it is.
They knock on the door, the owner comes out and says:
- Very nice, drunken father and son.

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Created by: Demonte

1/30/14 @ 3:52am (EST) |UTC - 5:00

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young bull and seasoned one stand on the hill and watching down on pasture
with cows on it.
young bull say to seasoned one "lets hurry run down there and will
fuck this red cow!!"
seasoned bull answered " no, not yet,,...."
young bull start talk again in a while "ok, lets hurry run down and
will fuck this blackwhite cow?!!!"
seasoned " no, not yet..."
in a while young bull again start talk " ok, ok, now lets hurry hurry
run down there and will fuck this black cow!!!!! i cant stand it
anymore!!!"
seasoned slowly chewing grass and say " you just so young, hurry
hurry... wtf... we will go down slowly and will fuck WHOLE flock!!"

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Created by: malteeser

1/30/14 @ 11:05am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Two gentlemen were moving very fast inside a supermarket with their shopping carts:
- Pardon me, I'm looking for my wife.
- What a coincidence, me too!. I'm desperate.
- Well, maybe I can help. How is your wife?
- She is tall, light brown hair, nice shapely legs, firm breasts, a nice beautiful ass, and very nice , ... and yours?.
- Forget mine, let's look for yours.

Dos caballeros se mov�an muy de prisa en el interior de un supermercado con sus carritos de compra:
- Perd�neme usted; es que busco a mi se�ora.
- �Qu� coincidencia, yo tambi�n!. Estoy desesperado.
- Bueno, tal vez le pueda ayudar. �C�mo es su se�ora?.
- Es alta, de pelo casta�o claro, piernas bien
torneadas, pechos firmes, un culo precioso, en fin, muy bonita... �Y la suya?.
- Olv�dese de la m�a, vamos a buscar a la suya.

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Created by: malteeser

1/31/14 @ 1:20pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A woman wakes up in the morning. She wakes up her husband and says:
- Honey, I had a wonderful dream. I dreamed that I had a diamond necklace for my birthday. What does it mean?.
The husband replied:
- You will know on your birthday!
When the birthday of the wife arrives, the husband comes home with a package in hand. The woman, excited, take it in her hands, nervously ripping the paper, and quickly opening the box to find a book entitled "The meaning of dreams."

Una mujer se levanta por la ma�ana, despierta a su marido y le dice:
- Cari�o, he tenido un sue�o maravilloso. He so�ado que me regalabas un collar de diamantes por mi cumplea�os. �Qu� querr� decir?.
El marido le contesta:
- Lo sabr�s en tu cumplea�os.
Llega el d�a del cumplea�os de la esposa y el marido entra en casa con un paquete en la mano. La mujer, emocionada, se lo quita de las manos, rasga nerviosa el papel, abre r�pidamente la caja y encuentra un libro titulado: "El significado de los sue�os."

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