Josh Polk: Laughter is the best Medicine - 7/26/13 - Male Performer Chat

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Laughter is the best Medicine

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Male Performer Chat: Laughter is the best Medicine

Created by: louisphillippe

4/13/17 @ 7:52pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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Teacher: Boys, what does the chicken give you?
Student: Meat!
Teacher: Very good! Now what does the pig give you?
Student: Bacon!
Teacher: Great! And what does the fat cow give you?
Student: Homework!
(your turn Louis) :angel

Famous fashion designer Coco Chanel once said:
"You should wear perfume wherever you would like a man to kiss you..."

She didn't say it burns like hell!!!

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/13/17 @ 8:00pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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A woman goes to consult the psychiatrist about her husband.
"Doctor,my husband is acting weird...he drinks the coffee in the morning
and after he eats the coffee cup leaving only the handle..."

The doctor answers: "yes...that is very strange because the handle is the best part!!
:orglaugh

In Spain there is a tradition that after a bullfight the Mayor
of the city gets to eat the bulls testicles at a great restaurant. :evil

The mayor asks the waiter "Waiter...why are the testicles so small today???" :evil

The waiter answers: "Sorry sir...today the bull won!! :orglaugh

Keep them coming!!! :orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

4/15/17 @ 2:17am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Man came home.
Saw his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend.
Wife says, if you behave like this,
You will lose all your friends.

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/15/17 @ 3:00am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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BLONDE JOKES.

:thumbsup

A blonde goes around the neighborhood asking for work.
Finally she gets to a house were someone needed some work done.
The lady that owned the house ask her:" Can you paint my porch?"
The blonde says:"Sure !! I love to paint"
The lady says well pain it and give it two coats of paint please.
How much would you charge me?"
The blonde responded "Well...I think $50 would be a fair price"
The woman said" OK!! good price,the paint is inside the garage,here
are the keys"
When the husband came home she told him the good news " Dear,I found
someone to paint the porch with two coats and she charges me only $50 !!!"
The man said" Oh boy!! does she knows the porch goes all around the house?"
Lady answered: "I imagine so,she was standing on it when she quoted me the price..."
A couple of hours after a knock on the door.
When the lady opened it was the blonde girl: "I'm finished already.
I gave it 4 coats instead of 2 because I had paint leftover...and
by the way that is not a Porsche,it was a brand new Bugatti !!!"
:orglaugh

A blonde goes to an electronics store and tells the salesman: "I want that
TV.."
The salesman answers :" Sorry,we don't sale to blondes"
Blonde girl goes home and dyes her hair brown and goes back to the store...
" I want that TV."
Salesman says: "Sorry miss we don't sale to blondes"
She goes back to the house and dyes her hair black and goes back again.
"I want that TV"....salesman answers again " Sorry we don't sale to blondes"
After trying every color of hair dye she goes back again with white hair.
Again same answer " Sorry we don't sale to blondes"
Infuriated the blonde asks him:" How do you know I'm blonde???"
Salesman answers: "Because that is a microwave not a TV"...

:orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

4/16/17 @ 2:31am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Dad cooks deer for dinner but doesn't tell the k i d s. He gives them a clue.
It is what your mother calls me.
The son yells - It is a fucking dick. Don't eat it!

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Created by: myelmo

4/16/17 @ 11:07pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Posts: 1,108

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the two funny guys on the site :thumbsup

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/17/17 @ 2:07am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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the two funny guys on the site :thumbsup

Three funny guys in the site
if we count you Elmo!!! :orglaugh

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/17/17 @ 2:40am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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I met two guys down the street dressed in matching clothes...
I asked them if the were gay

and they arrested me!!! :orglaugh

Husband: "Honey you look great today!!did you do something new to your hair??"
Wife: " Michael!! I'm OVER HERE!!! :orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

4/17/17 @ 12:51pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house? Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.

Join in, elmo!

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/18/17 @ 6:52pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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The teacher tells the class: "Today we are going to
learn about multi syllables words class...Does anyone know an example
a multi syllable word??"...
Little Johnny shouts: "Me me meeeee teacher!!
"Yes johnny??
"Mas-tur-bate teacher."
Turning red teacher says "Oh my Johnny!! that is a mouthful!!"
Johnny Responds : "NAaahhh teacher...you are thinking of a blow job..."

:orglaugh

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/18/17 @ 7:00pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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Little Peter came back from school and told his mom:"Mom Jack Morton
show me his penis in the schools bathroom..."
Mom was very concerned....she asked:"What did you think of it Peter??"
Peter said:" Mom...it reminded me of a peanut..."
Mon says: Oh Peter...was it that small??"
Peter answers: "No mom...it was salty but delicious.."

:orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

4/19/17 @ 7:40am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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The penis is such a polite guy.
When he sees a girl, he stands up and makes a place for her to sit on.

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Created by: malteeser

4/20/17 @ 12:15pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A boy asks his dad - What’s the difference between potential and realistic?
The dad tells him to go ask the rest of his family if they’d sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then he’d tell him the answer.
The boy goes up to his mom and asks her.
She responds - A million dollars is a lot of money sweetheart. I could send you, your sister, and your brother to great colleges, so sure, I would!
He then goes and asks his sister to which she replies - Brad Pitt? Hell ya, he’s the hottest guy ever!
Next, the boy asks his brother who replies - A million dollars? Hell yes I would. I’d be rich!
When the boy excitedly returns to his dad with the family’s responses, the dad says - Well son, potentially, we have three million dollars. Realistically, we have two sluts and a queer.

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/21/17 @ 2:08am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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.....

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/21/17 @ 2:41am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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The lawyer visits the perpetrator in jail.
"I have good news and bad new Joe... :winkwink

"
"What are the bad news?"
"Your bl00d is all over the crime scene Joe,a lot
of DNA there that proves you did it...."

"And the good news???"

"Your cholesterol is only 130 "... :thumbsup

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Created by: malteeser

4/21/17 @ 12:10pm (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A guy meets a sex worker in a bar. She says, ‘This is your lucky night. I’ve got a special game for you. I’ll do absolutely anything you want for £300 as long as you can say it in three words.’ The guy replies, ‘Hey, why not?’ He pulls his wallet out of his pocket and lays £300 on the bar, and says slowly. ‘Paint…my….house.’

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Created by: louisphillippe

4/22/17 @ 1:17am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

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A woman gets on the bus holding a baby.
The bus driver says:" Oh my god!! that is the ugliest baby
I have ever seen!!!"
The woman fuming seats down all the way in the back of the bus
next to a huge bodybuilder and tells him :"That driver just
insulted and offended me.Go and tell him to f**ck off please!!!."
The young bodybuilder answers:"You go lady,meanwhile I'll hold
your monkey for you..."

:orglaugh

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Created by: malteeser

4/22/17 @ 7:42am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A father put his three year old daughter to bed, told her a story and listened to her prayers which she ended by saying - God bless Mommy, God bless daddy, God bless grandma and good-bye grandpa.
The father asked - Why did you say good-bye grandpa?
The little girl said - I don't know daddy, it just seemed like the thing to do.
The next day grandpa died.
The father thought it was a strange coincidence.
A few months later the father put the girl to bed and listened to her prayers, which went like this - God bless Mommy, God Bless daddy, and good-bye grandma.
The next day the grandmother died.
Oh, my gosh - thought the father - this girl is in contact with the other side.
Several weeks later when the girl was going to bed the dad heard her say - God bless Mommy and good-bye daddy.
He practically went into shock. He couldn't sleep all night and got up at the crack of dawn to go to his office. He was nervous as a cat all day, had lunch sent in and watched the clock.
He figured if he could get by until midnight he would be okay. He felt safe in the office, so instead of going home at the end of the day he stayed there, drinking coffee, looking at his watch and jumping at every sound. Finally midnight arrived, he breathed a sigh of relief and went home.
When he got home his wife said - I've never seen you work so late, what's the matter?
He said - I don't want to talk about it, I've just spent the worst day of my life.
She said - You think you had a bad day, you'll never believe what happened to me. This morning the milkman dropped dead on our porch.

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Created by: malteeser

4/23/17 @ 1:37am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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Why do scuba divers fall backwards from the boat?
Because if the fall forward, they would still be on the fucking boat!

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Created by: malteeser

4/24/17 @ 2:59am (EST) |UTC - 5:00
Location: Chimba de Isla
Posts: 499

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A wife to her husband - What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?
He looked at her from head to toe and replied - Your sense of humor!

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